Releasing your resistance to the moment.

Sometimes doing nothing, is the best way to really feel what you want to do. Instead of doing, what you think you want to do. I feel anew. I feel renewinated. I feel all the fresh juices coming up inside my body. I don’t need to struggle to make things happen, it will come exactly when it need to come. I don’t have to worry about it. I don’t have to force myself into action. The action will come.

I’am so tired of doing. I’am tired of making plans. I’am tired of using my time the most productive way. I’am tired of struggling. I’am tired of thinking about the outcomes of what I do. I’am tired of thinking, and organizing and planning.

I want to do nothing.

I have been doing nothing for over a week now, beginning to wait for that bad consciousness about my laziness. Waiting on some inspiration to do something. But I don’t have any bad consciousness. I’am feeling great. I know inspiration for action will come, I just have to let it build up.

It came now. I just feel the urge writing about this doing nothing stage. Because while I have been just indulging myself in simpel activities. Like going to the beach. Laying on the floor. Making a green juice. Going out for a run. Sitting in the sofa, staring out in the empty air. Meditating. Moving things around.

I have had this feeling of a huge need for this silence. This state of not being productive.This feeling of not using my time, for an outcome. I’am by myself. Don’t need to be in company with anybody.

It’s seldom I have had this opportunity, not to be surrounded with friends and family. No one is expecting anything from me, besides my cat. Cat quality time. :-)Actually I becomes more and more like my cat. My cat ia always sleeping, relaxing, living in the now.

I have been practicing for some time now, in not being so hard on myself. Not plan so much, and doing things just for fun. Trying not to control. If I felt that my energy got heavy doing a certain activity, I have stopped the activity. Before I would just have continued, because I had set my mind about doing it. But I would have felt bored and drained afterwards.

What I have seen is that the more I follow my desires, and not feeling bad about them, the more I feel really good. Of course there are tasks that need to be done, but often you can do it in another way, which makes it more fun and easy.

Marie J.Engelsvold. Packed artwork. Let that heart out. 2019

Also, eventhough I don’t plan things, I feel that the outcome is even better than from anything I could have planned.

So that makes me more courageous about doing things the easy way. Not struggling, not fixing my mind on a specific goal. Staying open, and feeling where the energy is going for me. I tune in to my body, my feelings and ask what do I want to do right now? What would be the most fun thing? What would give me this aliveness?

Because when you do an activity from this place of inner aliveness, from a place of eagerness and energy and power, it’s just so rewarding. It don’t have to be a big thing, it can be a little task, a little action. It doesn’t really matter what you do, just that the action is clear and pure. When I do the right action, I can be thrilled the whole day for just having done this action, that felt so right.

So why not doing them all the time? Well, the thing is very often it can feel like there is some resistance. It can feel like you try to procrastinate it, that you are a little anxious of doing it.

You say to yourself, “I feel like doing this but it’s a little late now. I wait to do it tomorrow.” Or, you try to make excuses, saying “oh I don’t have time now. Oh, it a little stupid.”

Marie J.Engelsvold. Experimenting in the wood. Green portal. 2019

I can come with an example. For a long time I had this urge to go out in the wood with my sculptures, taking some photos. I have been working with the color green for a while, and it felt right to surround the green with natural green. I had the urge of doing it for some time before I actually did it. Why was it so difficult? I really wanted to do it, but I had this resistance. Every day there was a new excuse. The weather was too bad, or the weather was too hot. The grass was too wet, or I felt some pain in my leg. One day I just very hastly put all the sculpture parts into my car. I planned to stop by a wood, on my way home from the studio. But, well I didn’t really feel for it, and I couldn’t decide on where to stop.

For some days the car was filled up with sculptures. I was going out of town to visit an artist friend. I knew I would stop by a wood, on my way home. I told her about my plans. She wanted to help me. “You can’t do this alone”? “You need someone to take the photos”, “Have you been thinking about how to fix the sculptures”? “Do yo have any robe”?She came up with a lot of advice, which made me feel a little drained. I just said “If I have to think about all theese factors, and have it all planned, it wouldn’t be fun. I knew in my heart, that to overcome the resistance I just had to do it. To wait till I had it all figured out, would have been another excuse for not doing it.

Actually this is another trigger, that the mind(ego), likes to set up. It wants control at all costs, and it want everything planned.

I found my wood on my way home, I played around for some hours. I ignored people sitting in their cars on the parking lot…The way they looked at me while I was dragging all my sculpture pieces out of the car. Or I thought they looked at me, properly they didn’t care less about me.

It’s weird, so many people sitting in their cars, on the parking lot of a wood? Why don’t they go out in the wood for a while? enjoying nature? Maybe they felt the same resistance as me?

Marie J.Engelsvold. Experimenting in the wood. Green portal. 2019

I think we can feel a little shameful of doing theese joyful activities. Because very often they don’t have a specific productive outcome, or they might actually have, but our minds can not grasp this outcome. The mind doesn’t have a category for this activity. Yes, that’s it. You are going out of your categories, and because of that, you feel this resistance. Because the mind doesn’t like to go out in unknown areas, it doesn’t like if it can’t see a tangible result from the activity.

Most of us are not used to do fun things, we have learned to do things for the outcome. We have learned that to work is hard. And we say when I have done this, I will celebrate. Then I will have fun. But it’s difficult to have fun, if you really are feeling drained.

When you are doing an activity out of the gain of a specific result, you will be completely exhausted afterwards. Eventhough you got the result, you are not feeling good inside of you.( If you have not allowed yourself to be present in the process.)

People around you might compliment you on your result, and you will have this image of success. You think you are happy, but it isen’t real. Soon you will start to think about a new project, because to celebrate for too long makes you nervous. The emptiness sneaks up inside of you. You need to stay busy, to not feel this nagging emptiness.

Marie J.Engelsvold. Experimenting in the wood. Green portal. 2019

When you do things, out of joy and passion while you are doing it, you don’t feel empty. You feel whole.

The reward are in the doing, the reward is an energy and a feeling of aliveness and everything is possible.

Because everything is. It just is.

You can ask, but what has all this to do with the creative process? Life and your creativity is intertwined. It’s going hand in hand. How you feel in your daily life, will influence your creativity. If you are not expressing yourself in your fullest capacity, expressing yourself honestly. The whole thing will be automatic, you will keep on repeating yourself. You will keep going in circles. You have to break free of your circles, break free of your habits and your self imposed limitations.

If you go about making art doing it in a rigid mindset, well that’s your choice. People might like it, because it feels safe.

It doesn’t shake them, it doesn’t go beyond the limits of some unsaid rule about what is art. You have to shake yourself, to shake others. You have to give from a place that’s real.

Here I will give you some tips on how to release your resistance of enjoying your moments.

Write a list of activities that would be just crazy fun.

How would it make you feel to do some of theese activities?

Choose one activity that you want the most. Could you do that activity today?

Write down any resistance you have about doing the activity.

What is this resistance about? Are you a little afraid?

Work on that resistance, have a dialog.

Write down all feelings you have thinking about doing and enjoying the activity.

Imagine yourself doing the activity, and having a lot of fun.

Try to get into that feeling of aliveness, and you will feel empowered.

Go do it, without thinking and controlling everything.

Hope you enjoyed this post, I did really enjoyed feeling this spark while I wrote.

Hope you are getting real out there, in life as in art. Hope you will act on your urges, everything is about how you feel. Don’t compromise on that.

Have a lovely day :-))

Hope you could use these tips.

I’am sharing this information to you freely, from my own experiences. Hope you can use it in your own process. Any donation, is deeply appreciated. :-)

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• video
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  • Apr 30, 2019 Be bold, let your light out. Apr 30, 2019
  • Apr 1, 2019 How embracing all parts of you, will help you in your art making. Apr 1, 2019
  • Mar 8, 2019 What to do when you are stucked in the creative process?? Mar 8, 2019
  • Feb 20, 2019 Don’t resist the moment. Live your dream. Feb 20, 2019
  • Feb 10, 2019 Why are we so hard on ourselves? Feb 10, 2019
  • Feb 1, 2019 It's okay to say NO. Feb 1, 2019

Don’t resist the moment. Live your dream.

Not expecting anything. Not wanting any specific result. Not waiting to arrive to a certain destination. You know very often we say, when I have done this and this, then I will just have fun. We think that we have to deserve it. First work and then play. We have learned to struggle and to fight our ways through life. To be strong. To tame ourselves. We make “to do” lists. We have so may goals. But what when we get there? Is it worth it? I think to be present in the creative process, is a kind of learning how to live moment to moment. To learn to be in peace and harmony with yourself, eventhough your outer circumstances is chaotic. Allowing yourself to be you. That all about you is okay. That is your reward. That is your freedom.  

Sculpture experiments, from my own process.

Yesterday I had a day in my studio, where I didn’t come to any solutions. I played around with a sculpture the whole day, but it didn’t fall into place. It didn’t click. I’am learning all the time, and normally I would be a little unsatisfied with myself. But yesterday I was so happy on my way home. Because I had really had fun,  and I had this knowing that everything will fall into place. The energy from the day was still in my body the whole evening. 

The feeling of flow comes when what you are doing, is in harmony with where you are.

So I’am learning to enjoy the yourney, to relax in knowing that I can create more courageous, if I don’t fix my mind on a specific goal.

But I think the reason why we resist the moment, resist o be present, is that it triggers all our emotions. Because to be in the process is not just bliss all the time, you will meet all parts of yourself.

How do you forget the result ??

When we think of a result, it is often a mental picture of what we want. So instead of the mental picture, go for the flow feeling instead. The feeling of flow comes when what you are doing, is in harmony with where you are. For example, if you are sad, use that feeling and express it, instead of suppressing it, because you think you have to be happy. Every time you suppress an emotion, it builds up, and it takes a lot of energy. If you keep suppressing these more negative emotions you will eventually run out of space. Your body will be full. All the emotions will come to the surface, and you might get a serious breakdown. So release the feelings instead, allow them to be felt, express them in your art. Soon you will feel relieved because you are getting in touch with new aspects of yourself. Relieved because you have more energy, and more space inside of you..

Marie J.Engelsvold. “Don’t resist the moment.” Acrylics, pencil and paper cuts on paper. 30 x 30 cm. 2019

How do we go from the expectation to the dream ??

So one of the biggest challenges is to let go of the expectations of the result. If we always have a goal in mind, it is as if we are starting to hurry, and we reject everything that does not look like something that can lead to our goals.

Often the inner critic begins to beat us up. We begin to sabotage ourselves. It is not good enough. We try again and again, to get to the desired result but we fail. Sometimes we actually succeeds, and the result is satisfying. But often we have to cross both arms and teeth to get there. We can also have learned a lot of techniques, so everything we do looks okay, it is actually really nice and tidy and people like what we do. But you may not be completely happy, and you are dreaming of something else.

The dream you feel, is not the expectation. The expectation is that mental picture you have of yourself, that you have to feel and be a certain way. The mental picture of your outcome. The expectations will always get disappointed, and you begin to judge yourself if it is not met. So drop that mental picture, The dream cannot die. The dream is the one you think is unrealistic, the one that can't be done. The one who is only possible if you had lots of time and money and courage. But it is the dream that makes your heart beat, the dream that gives your life direction, and the dream which nourishes the flame in your passion. But how do we go from the expectation to the dream ??  It's a bit like the same mechanism as when we switch from the left side to the right side of the brain. And the harmony when we get all our parts to play together. I'm talking about the same thing, just in different ways. Because we constantly run into the same problems, but because the situation changes, we do not see it.

In the creative processes, you meet yourself head on.

The first thing you have to do is forget the result, go into the process, be present in the process and don't think about the end result. The dream is now, it’s not a destination. If you build a lot of expectations around the dream, the dream cannot come into your present reality. The dream is not a picture, it’s alive. That  is what is the adventure, to enter into the unknown.

These are the same mechanisms as in your life, if you are afraid of the unknown (and we are all to a lesser extent), then you cannot be present in your life. So that's why I say that in the creative processes, you meet yourself head on. And if you dare to go into the eye of the storm, you can free yourself from your limitations and learn to accept and love yourself in your wholeness. Without cutting pieces of yourself out.  This is also why we have such a hard time being present in the process, and accepting our own self-expression because we meet ourselves all the time. And we all have parts we don't like and don't accept.  So the expectation of the result is also the expectation of yourself.

When you expect things from yourself and other people, you also judge if your expectations is not met. If you judge yourself, you tell yourself that you are not good enough. You do not accept yourself as you are, but only as the image of how you want yourself to be.

Release the expectations on how to get there, and surrender to the journey.

So when I say, go into the process and forget about the result, it sounds very easy. But it's not easy, it's really challenging for most of us. And so, it is something you learn gradually.

I, myself have been a visual artist for 20 years, and of course I also love to be in the process when I am in flow. And I think that is why I became an artist. When I was very young, I discovered that I could disappear from the world and go into my own dream. I could come in a state of true presence and joy. That is the flow. Forgetting time and place, being fully present in what you do. That is the price. And then you have arrived. When you live the dream, the dream is all there. Allow yourself to dream big, and allow yourself to trust it. But the dream becomes reality only when you follow your inner voice and allow yourself to rely on the process.

 You still can't figure out how to get there ?? Take the first step, and that is your creative passion. You must turn on the spark, before you can burn. Release the expectations on how to get there, and surrender to the journey. And if your dream is more time to be creative and express yourself, take that time. Start with what you can today, and then expand slowly.

I’am sharing this information to you freely, from my own experiences. Hope you can use it in your own process. Any donation, is deeply appreciated. :-))

Donate

• Turtorials and tips
  • May 15, 2019 How to take your drawings, to the next level.
  • Apr 30, 2019 Be bold, let your light out.
  • Apr 6, 2019 How to start your drawing praxis.
  • Mar 8, 2019 What to do when you are stucked in the creative process??
  • Feb 13, 2018 How do you work with composition?
  • Jan 8, 2018 Make a kickstart.
  • Nov 20, 2017 Go bigger.
  • Nov 8, 2017 What is your drawings all about?
  • Oct 31, 2017 Wait!! Before you throw that drawing in the bin!!!!!
  • Oct 12, 2017 Find inspiration everywhere.
  • Oct 12, 2017 Experiment with shapes and lines.
  • Oct 12, 2017 Want to find your own visual language ?
• psycological aspects
  • May 26, 2020 Holding your flow.
  • May 6, 2020 The world is yours.
  • Apr 22, 2020 Let your heart decide.
  • Apr 18, 2020 Create from your self.
  • Apr 4, 2020 Expand your own signature.
  • Oct 9, 2019 How to shift out of the 3d perspective.
  • Sep 20, 2019 What is it, to be grounded?
  • Sep 10, 2019 How to follow your own flow.
  • Jul 28, 2019 Releasing your resistance to the moment.
  • Jul 15, 2019 Don't wait for life to be perfect, let go of control.
  • Jun 1, 2019 How to raise your vibration, through the creative process.
  • Apr 1, 2019 How embracing all parts of you, will help you in your art making.
  • Feb 20, 2019 Don’t resist the moment. Live your dream.
  • Feb 10, 2019 Why are we so hard on ourselves?
  • Feb 1, 2019 It's okay to say NO.
  • Jan 2, 2019 Let yourself shine in 2019 :-)
  • Nov 22, 2018 Look at your obstacles as adventures.
  • Feb 2, 2018 How to stay in the process?
  • Dec 20, 2017 Slow down
  • Dec 12, 2017 There is no "right" way.
  • Dec 5, 2017 Why it's important to unlearn.
  • Oct 12, 2017 Let your feelings be your guide.
  • Sep 5, 2017 Don't be afraid of change:-)
  • Sep 5, 2017 Express your feelings
  • Sep 5, 2017 Can drawing be a kind of meditation?
• turtorials
  • Apr 6, 2019 How to start your drawing praxis.
• video
  • May 15, 2019 How to take your drawings, to the next level.
  • Apr 30, 2019 Be bold, let your light out.
  • Apr 1, 2019 How embracing all parts of you, will help you in your art making.
  • Mar 8, 2019 What to do when you are stucked in the creative process??
  • Feb 20, 2019 Don’t resist the moment. Live your dream.
  • Feb 10, 2019 Why are we so hard on ourselves?
  • Feb 1, 2019 It's okay to say NO.