Create from your self. →

Get in touch with your core. (your self, your inner diamond, your being, your soul, your heart ……. find your own word, the word is not important. The feeling of being you is important.)

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Don’t give yourself away

When we talk about being creative, being artists, being creators. We talk about self expression. What is this self? How can you express yourself from that place

 Of course you already know that feeling of being you. We all do. Feeling happy, alive, free and excited. In this state or conciousness you don’t fear anything, and you feel you are enough. You feel everything is possible. Why do you feel everything is possible? Because when you are feeling whole, you are infinite. 

In this consciousness you can create everything. Everything you imagine or dream about is possible. We can say that we are God in this consciousness. 

Marie J.Engelsvold. “I catch me, if I fall” Yarn, wood, foam, textile.“Purple heart” Wood, foam, yarn 2018. Swim Gallery. San Francisco. 2018

I know it is kind of difficult to use the word God. Because there is so many assumptions on that word already. It’s so powerful. That is why I use this word, because I want to point to the fact that you are that power. You are not a victim. You are the creater. You don’t have to give your power away to any external God. To anything outside of you. It can be a lover, a parent, your friends, the art world, the government. Don’t give yourself away

 If you don’t like to use the word God. Then don’t. You can also use self, or core. Or find your own word. It could be Inner diamond. You decide. You have the power. 

But sometimes this core, and the awareness of it, is hidden. You can’t find your self. You can’t find that feeling of being whole and complete. But it’s not gone. It’s always there. You are just not in that that state of conciousness.. You can’t see it, it’s hidden because you are coming from your old believes. Your fears, and the feeling that you are constantly missing out on something. This nagging feeling that you constantly have to get a little better, learn some more, practice some more. You are not feeling you are enough. You are not feling good enough.

 You just have to make some more money. Or you wait for the right time. Because you are not quite ready yet. Or you compare yourself to other people, and listen more to their advice than your own.

Marie J.Engelsvold. Work process. 2019

When you are creating your artworks, trying to express yourself and you are not in that energy. You are not in contact with your wholeness, your joy and the knowing that you are enough. You will meet all your limitations. All your different believes, and assumptions. All your rules. What you have learned and decided is good or bad. What you can or cannot do. 

If you are open and aware of what is happening, you can letting that conciousness go. Everything that restricts you and makes you heavy. 

As you are letting go, you reconnect with yourself. You come more and more into contact with your pure creative power, that is wild and free. Full of excitement and love. Full of joy and play. Where everything feels possible. Because you are the creator. 

But how do you let go?  How do you go from being critizicing yourself, being hard on yourself?  To come into that place of wholeness and completeness.? To come into that notion that you can thrust yourself? You simply shift out of that state of conciousness. 

Because how can you be so hard on yourself, if you are actually whole and complete?

Marie J.Engelsvold. “Inner diamond” Pencil on paper. 2020. For purchase. Contact: Marie J.Engelsvold.

 Shifting your energies

I want to give you another picture. Because eventhough you are feeling low, you are feeling fearful, or limited you are still you. You don’t have to find your self. You just have to shift your energies. Or you state of mind. Your consciousness. Your awareness. Yes there are so many words for the same. We can also say, just change your mood. How do we go from being in a bad mood to a better mood.

 We can see ourselves as a radio with different frequencies. When you change frequency or channel, you change awareness. For example, you could be on the channel that says everything is tough. Life is hard. You have to fight for everything. Or you can switch to the channel that says everything is easy. Life is easy. And you have everything you need, everything comes easily to you. But it's still the same radio. You are still you, you are still full of love and joy even if you are on the channel that states that everything is hard. You just changed frequency. 

 But if it’s so easy to change moods.

Why are we often stuck? 

 Yes I know it’s not so simpel at first. Sometimes you just can’t seem to dig yourself out of this shitty state. You think everythink is going wrong, your art works are failing. You have always failed. You will never make anything that will ever be good enough. Your whole life is one big faillure. You are a faillure. 

 Yes. We know this state. How it can grow so quickly  inside you. Going from one failed art work, then accelerating into your whole life being a faillure. Yes I know that. You properly do too. You are not connected to your core. But it’s still there. You are still there. All these thoughts is not you. They are just a state of mind.

You can move to another state. Letting it build in the same way as any other state of mind.

Try to go back to that failed art work. Just accept it. Embrace it. Yes, it didn’t turn out the way you expected it. But it’s okay. You are okay. Then just feel you being okay. Breathe. Then you can go from being okay, to be fine. Relax in that feeling that you are fine. Accelerate the feeling, build on that….in the same way you did when you went from  having failed one art work, to your whole life being a faillure. Now take that feeling of being fine to the next level. Feeling complete. Feeling whole. Feeling enough.

Marie J.Engelsvold. Work process. 2019.

Now you can stay in this peaceful mood, or you can go even futher. You can go to the state of being joyful, excited, feeling alive. Now you are you. Now you are connected to your aliveness. To your beingness. Can you feel it?? 

 You decide. You can also choose to stay limited. To criticise yourself. Beat yourself up.

 Don’t pretend to be okay

 As I have talked about before, it’s not always possible to move out of a low mood so easy.

In my experience. When I feel this knot in my throut and stomach, I can’t just shift out like I just explained. I can try, but no. It doesn’t feel right.

In these cases, I just go deep into these feelings. I don’t just pretend to be okay. No, don’t do that. Because you can’t move them. They are coming up, for you to recognize them. For you to embrace them. For you to say it’s okay. Then the feelings will be released. But don’t be mad at yourself for having these feelings. Be gentle. Be kind. You need this love from yourself. You deserve it.

But in many cases, it’s just a habit to get stock in the low moods. You do it so easily, because it’s a mood you know. So practise this shifting. Practise how you can shift out of a low mood. Choosing another mood. Choosing to see everything in a new perspective.

Because when you move to another state, another mood, another way to see life. We see everything acording to that mood. Your artwork which was a faillure in your previous mood, might be a complete art work in your mood of completeness and love. Or it might give you a wonderful idea, to how you can make something new and radical

Energy is constantly moving, that is its nature. We are pure energy in our consciousness, so it should be very natural and easy for us to move our consciousness.? To move out of a bad mood.? Yes it is . And most of us actually do it all the time, too. But we just tend to stay in the moods we know. The moods that is most natural to you. What is your most frequent mood? That’s your home. So if you in a period of your life is in a depressed state, that mood is most naturel.  So you have to practise being in other moods, untill that mood becomes the most naturel.

So often we go against our own nature. We try to fix things. We try to force the energies. We are not so gentle with ourselves. We decide for an action, for a project. We make a to do list, and we stick to this list, eventhough we feel our energies are getting low. Eventhough we are not passionate about the project

Marie J.Engelsvold. Work process. 2019.

Do you want to be alive?

You may have decided on a project. You start and you are full of energy, but at some point you run out of fuel. There is something wrong. But instead of listening, you keep going. You probably know it. I do. I've done it a lot. Forced myself to do a project I didn't feel passionate about.

In this way we go against our own energy. That's when we force the energy in a certain direction, instead of letting it flow. Instead of going with your energy. Going with yourself.

 You are not in allignment with your feelings of joy and aliveness. The project doesn’t make you feel excited. Actually it is draining you, because it’s not coming from you. It’s coming from something else. You might do it because you think it’s easy to sell. Then you act out of fear. Or you do it because it will give you some status. Or maybe you do a project with some other artists, or people, and you feel that you have comitted yourself to participate. You feel shity if you let the others down. But in the end of the day, the price you are paying, is too much. Don’t let yourself down. Don’t give your power away.

 You decide. Do you want to be alive? Really feling alive? Move to that place in yourself.

See the world from that place. Everything is possible.

Try it. :-)

Hope you enjoyed this post. Have a very nice day.

I’am sharing this information to you freely, from my own experiences. Hope you can use it in your own process. Any donation, is deeply appreciated. :-)

Donate

• Turtorials and tips
  • May 15, 2019 How to take your drawings, to the next level. May 15, 2019
  • Apr 30, 2019 Be bold, let your light out. Apr 30, 2019
  • Apr 6, 2019 How to start your drawing praxis. Apr 6, 2019
  • Mar 8, 2019 What to do when you are stucked in the creative process?? Mar 8, 2019
  • Feb 13, 2018 How do you work with composition? Feb 13, 2018
  • Jan 8, 2018 Make a kickstart. Jan 8, 2018
  • Nov 20, 2017 Go bigger. Nov 20, 2017
  • Nov 8, 2017 What is your drawings all about? Nov 8, 2017
  • Oct 31, 2017 Wait!! Before you throw that drawing in the bin!!!!! Oct 31, 2017
  • Oct 12, 2017 Find inspiration everywhere. Oct 12, 2017
  • Oct 12, 2017 Experiment with shapes and lines. Oct 12, 2017
  • Oct 12, 2017 Want to find your own visual language ? Oct 12, 2017
• psycological aspects
  • May 26, 2020 Holding your flow. May 26, 2020
  • May 6, 2020 The world is yours. May 6, 2020
  • Apr 22, 2020 Let your heart decide. Apr 22, 2020
  • Apr 18, 2020 Create from your self. Apr 18, 2020
  • Apr 4, 2020 Expand your own signature. Apr 4, 2020
  • Oct 9, 2019 How to shift out of the 3d perspective. Oct 9, 2019
  • Sep 20, 2019 What is it, to be grounded? Sep 20, 2019
  • Sep 10, 2019 How to follow your own flow. Sep 10, 2019
  • Jul 28, 2019 Releasing your resistance to the moment. Jul 28, 2019
  • Jul 15, 2019 Don't wait for life to be perfect, let go of control. Jul 15, 2019
  • Jun 1, 2019 How to raise your vibration, through the creative process. Jun 1, 2019
  • Apr 1, 2019 How embracing all parts of you, will help you in your art making. Apr 1, 2019
  • Feb 20, 2019 Don’t resist the moment. Live your dream. Feb 20, 2019
  • Feb 10, 2019 Why are we so hard on ourselves? Feb 10, 2019
  • Feb 1, 2019 It's okay to say NO. Feb 1, 2019
  • Jan 2, 2019 Let yourself shine in 2019 :-) Jan 2, 2019
  • Nov 22, 2018 Look at your obstacles as adventures. Nov 22, 2018
  • Feb 2, 2018 How to stay in the process? Feb 2, 2018
  • Dec 20, 2017 Slow down Dec 20, 2017
  • Dec 12, 2017 There is no "right" way. Dec 12, 2017
  • Dec 5, 2017 Why it's important to unlearn. Dec 5, 2017
  • Oct 12, 2017 Let your feelings be your guide. Oct 12, 2017
  • Sep 5, 2017 Don't be afraid of change:-) Sep 5, 2017
  • Sep 5, 2017 Express your feelings Sep 5, 2017
  • Sep 5, 2017 Can drawing be a kind of meditation? Sep 5, 2017
• turtorials
  • Apr 6, 2019 How to start your drawing praxis. Apr 6, 2019
• video
  • May 15, 2019 How to take your drawings, to the next level. May 15, 2019
  • Apr 30, 2019 Be bold, let your light out. Apr 30, 2019
  • Apr 1, 2019 How embracing all parts of you, will help you in your art making. Apr 1, 2019
  • Mar 8, 2019 What to do when you are stucked in the creative process?? Mar 8, 2019
  • Feb 20, 2019 Don’t resist the moment. Live your dream. Feb 20, 2019
  • Feb 10, 2019 Why are we so hard on ourselves? Feb 10, 2019
  • Feb 1, 2019 It's okay to say NO. Feb 1, 2019

Releasing your resistance to the moment.

Sometimes doing nothing, is the best way to really feel what you want to do. Instead of doing, what you think you want to do. I feel anew. I feel renewinated. I feel all the fresh juices coming up inside my body. I don’t need to struggle to make things happen, it will come exactly when it need to come. I don’t have to worry about it. I don’t have to force myself into action. The action will come.

I’am so tired of doing. I’am tired of making plans. I’am tired of using my time the most productive way. I’am tired of struggling. I’am tired of thinking about the outcomes of what I do. I’am tired of thinking, and organizing and planning.

I want to do nothing.

I have been doing nothing for over a week now, beginning to wait for that bad consciousness about my laziness. Waiting on some inspiration to do something. But I don’t have any bad consciousness. I’am feeling great. I know inspiration for action will come, I just have to let it build up.

It came now. I just feel the urge writing about this doing nothing stage. Because while I have been just indulging myself in simpel activities. Like going to the beach. Laying on the floor. Making a green juice. Going out for a run. Sitting in the sofa, staring out in the empty air. Meditating. Moving things around.

I have had this feeling of a huge need for this silence. This state of not being productive.This feeling of not using my time, for an outcome. I’am by myself. Don’t need to be in company with anybody.

It’s seldom I have had this opportunity, not to be surrounded with friends and family. No one is expecting anything from me, besides my cat. Cat quality time. :-)Actually I becomes more and more like my cat. My cat ia always sleeping, relaxing, living in the now.

I have been practicing for some time now, in not being so hard on myself. Not plan so much, and doing things just for fun. Trying not to control. If I felt that my energy got heavy doing a certain activity, I have stopped the activity. Before I would just have continued, because I had set my mind about doing it. But I would have felt bored and drained afterwards.

What I have seen is that the more I follow my desires, and not feeling bad about them, the more I feel really good. Of course there are tasks that need to be done, but often you can do it in another way, which makes it more fun and easy.

Marie J.Engelsvold. Packed artwork. Let that heart out. 2019

Also, eventhough I don’t plan things, I feel that the outcome is even better than from anything I could have planned.

So that makes me more courageous about doing things the easy way. Not struggling, not fixing my mind on a specific goal. Staying open, and feeling where the energy is going for me. I tune in to my body, my feelings and ask what do I want to do right now? What would be the most fun thing? What would give me this aliveness?

Because when you do an activity from this place of inner aliveness, from a place of eagerness and energy and power, it’s just so rewarding. It don’t have to be a big thing, it can be a little task, a little action. It doesn’t really matter what you do, just that the action is clear and pure. When I do the right action, I can be thrilled the whole day for just having done this action, that felt so right.

So why not doing them all the time? Well, the thing is very often it can feel like there is some resistance. It can feel like you try to procrastinate it, that you are a little anxious of doing it.

You say to yourself, “I feel like doing this but it’s a little late now. I wait to do it tomorrow.” Or, you try to make excuses, saying “oh I don’t have time now. Oh, it a little stupid.”

Marie J.Engelsvold. Experimenting in the wood. Green portal. 2019

I can come with an example. For a long time I had this urge to go out in the wood with my sculptures, taking some photos. I have been working with the color green for a while, and it felt right to surround the green with natural green. I had the urge of doing it for some time before I actually did it. Why was it so difficult? I really wanted to do it, but I had this resistance. Every day there was a new excuse. The weather was too bad, or the weather was too hot. The grass was too wet, or I felt some pain in my leg. One day I just very hastly put all the sculpture parts into my car. I planned to stop by a wood, on my way home from the studio. But, well I didn’t really feel for it, and I couldn’t decide on where to stop.

For some days the car was filled up with sculptures. I was going out of town to visit an artist friend. I knew I would stop by a wood, on my way home. I told her about my plans. She wanted to help me. “You can’t do this alone”? “You need someone to take the photos”, “Have you been thinking about how to fix the sculptures”? “Do yo have any robe”?She came up with a lot of advice, which made me feel a little drained. I just said “If I have to think about all theese factors, and have it all planned, it wouldn’t be fun. I knew in my heart, that to overcome the resistance I just had to do it. To wait till I had it all figured out, would have been another excuse for not doing it.

Actually this is another trigger, that the mind(ego), likes to set up. It wants control at all costs, and it want everything planned.

I found my wood on my way home, I played around for some hours. I ignored people sitting in their cars on the parking lot…The way they looked at me while I was dragging all my sculpture pieces out of the car. Or I thought they looked at me, properly they didn’t care less about me.

It’s weird, so many people sitting in their cars, on the parking lot of a wood? Why don’t they go out in the wood for a while? enjoying nature? Maybe they felt the same resistance as me?

Marie J.Engelsvold. Experimenting in the wood. Green portal. 2019

I think we can feel a little shameful of doing theese joyful activities. Because very often they don’t have a specific productive outcome, or they might actually have, but our minds can not grasp this outcome. The mind doesn’t have a category for this activity. Yes, that’s it. You are going out of your categories, and because of that, you feel this resistance. Because the mind doesn’t like to go out in unknown areas, it doesn’t like if it can’t see a tangible result from the activity.

Most of us are not used to do fun things, we have learned to do things for the outcome. We have learned that to work is hard. And we say when I have done this, I will celebrate. Then I will have fun. But it’s difficult to have fun, if you really are feeling drained.

When you are doing an activity out of the gain of a specific result, you will be completely exhausted afterwards. Eventhough you got the result, you are not feeling good inside of you.( If you have not allowed yourself to be present in the process.)

People around you might compliment you on your result, and you will have this image of success. You think you are happy, but it isen’t real. Soon you will start to think about a new project, because to celebrate for too long makes you nervous. The emptiness sneaks up inside of you. You need to stay busy, to not feel this nagging emptiness.

Marie J.Engelsvold. Experimenting in the wood. Green portal. 2019

When you do things, out of joy and passion while you are doing it, you don’t feel empty. You feel whole.

The reward are in the doing, the reward is an energy and a feeling of aliveness and everything is possible.

Because everything is. It just is.

You can ask, but what has all this to do with the creative process? Life and your creativity is intertwined. It’s going hand in hand. How you feel in your daily life, will influence your creativity. If you are not expressing yourself in your fullest capacity, expressing yourself honestly. The whole thing will be automatic, you will keep on repeating yourself. You will keep going in circles. You have to break free of your circles, break free of your habits and your self imposed limitations.

If you go about making art doing it in a rigid mindset, well that’s your choice. People might like it, because it feels safe.

It doesn’t shake them, it doesn’t go beyond the limits of some unsaid rule about what is art. You have to shake yourself, to shake others. You have to give from a place that’s real.

Here I will give you some tips on how to release your resistance of enjoying your moments.

Write a list of activities that would be just crazy fun.

How would it make you feel to do some of theese activities?

Choose one activity that you want the most. Could you do that activity today?

Write down any resistance you have about doing the activity.

What is this resistance about? Are you a little afraid?

Work on that resistance, have a dialog.

Write down all feelings you have thinking about doing and enjoying the activity.

Imagine yourself doing the activity, and having a lot of fun.

Try to get into that feeling of aliveness, and you will feel empowered.

Go do it, without thinking and controlling everything.

Hope you enjoyed this post, I did really enjoyed feeling this spark while I wrote.

Hope you are getting real out there, in life as in art. Hope you will act on your urges, everything is about how you feel. Don’t compromise on that.

Have a lovely day :-))

Hope you could use these tips.

I’am sharing this information to you freely, from my own experiences. Hope you can use it in your own process. Any donation, is deeply appreciated. :-)

Donate

• Turtorials and tips
  • May 15, 2019 How to take your drawings, to the next level. May 15, 2019
  • Apr 30, 2019 Be bold, let your light out. Apr 30, 2019
  • Apr 6, 2019 How to start your drawing praxis. Apr 6, 2019
  • Mar 8, 2019 What to do when you are stucked in the creative process?? Mar 8, 2019
  • Feb 13, 2018 How do you work with composition? Feb 13, 2018
  • Jan 8, 2018 Make a kickstart. Jan 8, 2018
  • Nov 20, 2017 Go bigger. Nov 20, 2017
  • Nov 8, 2017 What is your drawings all about? Nov 8, 2017
  • Oct 31, 2017 Wait!! Before you throw that drawing in the bin!!!!! Oct 31, 2017
  • Oct 12, 2017 Find inspiration everywhere. Oct 12, 2017
  • Oct 12, 2017 Experiment with shapes and lines. Oct 12, 2017
  • Oct 12, 2017 Want to find your own visual language ? Oct 12, 2017
• psycological aspects
  • May 26, 2020 Holding your flow. May 26, 2020
  • May 6, 2020 The world is yours. May 6, 2020
  • Apr 22, 2020 Let your heart decide. Apr 22, 2020
  • Apr 18, 2020 Create from your self. Apr 18, 2020
  • Apr 4, 2020 Expand your own signature. Apr 4, 2020
  • Oct 9, 2019 How to shift out of the 3d perspective. Oct 9, 2019
  • Sep 20, 2019 What is it, to be grounded? Sep 20, 2019
  • Sep 10, 2019 How to follow your own flow. Sep 10, 2019
  • Jul 28, 2019 Releasing your resistance to the moment. Jul 28, 2019
  • Jul 15, 2019 Don't wait for life to be perfect, let go of control. Jul 15, 2019
  • Jun 1, 2019 How to raise your vibration, through the creative process. Jun 1, 2019
  • Apr 1, 2019 How embracing all parts of you, will help you in your art making. Apr 1, 2019
  • Feb 20, 2019 Don’t resist the moment. Live your dream. Feb 20, 2019
  • Feb 10, 2019 Why are we so hard on ourselves? Feb 10, 2019
  • Feb 1, 2019 It's okay to say NO. Feb 1, 2019
  • Jan 2, 2019 Let yourself shine in 2019 :-) Jan 2, 2019
  • Nov 22, 2018 Look at your obstacles as adventures. Nov 22, 2018
  • Feb 2, 2018 How to stay in the process? Feb 2, 2018
  • Dec 20, 2017 Slow down Dec 20, 2017
  • Dec 12, 2017 There is no "right" way. Dec 12, 2017
  • Dec 5, 2017 Why it's important to unlearn. Dec 5, 2017
  • Oct 12, 2017 Let your feelings be your guide. Oct 12, 2017
  • Sep 5, 2017 Don't be afraid of change:-) Sep 5, 2017
  • Sep 5, 2017 Express your feelings Sep 5, 2017
  • Sep 5, 2017 Can drawing be a kind of meditation? Sep 5, 2017
• turtorials
  • Apr 6, 2019 How to start your drawing praxis. Apr 6, 2019
• video
  • May 15, 2019 How to take your drawings, to the next level. May 15, 2019
  • Apr 30, 2019 Be bold, let your light out. Apr 30, 2019
  • Apr 1, 2019 How embracing all parts of you, will help you in your art making. Apr 1, 2019
  • Mar 8, 2019 What to do when you are stucked in the creative process?? Mar 8, 2019
  • Feb 20, 2019 Don’t resist the moment. Live your dream. Feb 20, 2019
  • Feb 10, 2019 Why are we so hard on ourselves? Feb 10, 2019
  • Feb 1, 2019 It's okay to say NO. Feb 1, 2019

Don't wait for life to be perfect, let go of control.

Sometimes we have a tendency to wait doing what we really want to do, because we think a lot of things have to be perfect first. We think that if we have enough money, or we don’t have that draining job, or have the perfect relationsship, then we can do whatever we like.

But it’s an illusion. Because if you have this “everything gonna be perfect, when this and this happens perception”, it will never happen.

In life I have seen a pattern, that there is always something missing. Never have I experienced a lifesituation where everything was “perfect”.

I might have been very happy in a relationsship, and I might have felt fulfilled in my job, but then I was unsatisfied with where I lived. Or I might have been happy where I lived and happy with my job, or was going towards a dream ,but then the relationsship ended, or some conflicts with my family.

But is it life or your own perception that’s due to this? I think that if we all the time has this fixed perception about how our life is going to look like when it’s perfect, it never will. Because life will never be fixed, will never be an image. It’s movement. It’s to be in it right now. It’s not to be in it tomorrow.

So you might reach your perfect life image, but then you might have changed in the meantime, and what you once dreamt about, is not aligning with where you are now. So even if all your dreams would be real, it’s not a garanti that you will feel happy in that reality.

Because if all the outer things would be perfect, as you imagined. If you are not present in that reality, or are honest with who you are, it will never feel right.

Why not just say that it will never be “perfect”, so what?? Are you abel to be happy in the “not perfect”, can you have a happy moment in the “not perfect”

I think I have a very precious gift. Haven’t really thought about it before as a good quality. But from I was a child, I have always been abel to be in the middle of whatever situation I was in, and be creative. I have always had this urge to create. I could sit for hours making drawings, or small worlds on an empty bookshelf. A whole universe under a table. Also in my studio, it’s not so organized, I don’t really care about the surroundings as long as I can create. I don’t wait. I don’t wait for being ready, I just do it, because I need to be in that space. It’s recharging. It’s to be in the now.

But I do know, this feeling of waiting to do things, because I don’t feel ready. I don’t feel good enough. I don’t feel I deserve to do what I want.

But it’s a kind of control mindset. We want everything planned before we can do something. You set your own limits.

You decide what you can and what you can’t do. So why not do what you really want to do now? Today?

All what I write, is all the time around being in the moment. About being connected to the heart, connected to a place without judgement. When we are in the mind we judge all the time. We judge ourselves and other people. We judge our lifesituation. We judge our art. We judge other peoples art. We compare. We divide. We criticize. It’s exhausting to be in the mind all the time, and it’s exhausting to trying to be perfect all the time.

To make art is a kind of oasis, it’s an oasis from the mind. It’s an opportunity to be in the moment. If you dare.

How can we learn not to be in the mind? Not having to be perfect? not having to judge ourselves and others.

shaking

I love to see children doing art. Children playing around. They don’t have this mind set about being perfect. They just are. They don’t care about being messy. They play with seriousness, it’s important business. What I remember most from childhood, is this feeling of being disturbed. All the time, I had to do things I didn’t like to do. Then it was eating time, then we was going out on visit, then we had guests, then I had to go to school. Always interuptions. All I wanted was to be playing and creating. I really didn’t liked to be told what to do. I think that’s something we all can recall.

To be perfect is for me to be real. Not to put myself in a box, not to show only the nice facade and hide all the dirtyness and all the shadows under the carpet. It’s exhausting to try to be that perfect person all the time, and it’s very exhausting to be around people, who has this very perfect facade. I just feel very uncomfortable when I come into this kind of perfect home you see in the magazines, or theese perfect looking people with perfect clothes. Everything about them seems like something cutted out of a magazine. It makes everybody else filled with flaws. You just begin to see yourself through their eyes and you feel judged.

It’s the same with your artwork, what is a perfect artwork?? It’s the same as real people, people who can show and embody themselves in their wholeness. People who dare to be insecure, vulnable and true. People who dare to be unique and follow their own voice instead of the voice of the main stream culture. So to be perfect is to be you. It’s following your own feelings, your own guidance. It’s not to follow other peoples rules or control the outcome. How can you control life?? It’s not possible.

Marie J.Engelsvold. Sculpture play. 2019

Another thing to this mind set about perfectionism, is control. We want to know and control the results, we want to reach a certain destination. Why not let it all be, and see what happens. When you try to control the situations and your artwork, you close yourself of being alive. Yes, I actually think it’s true. We are not really alive when we try to control every aspect of our life. Our art work will not be alive, if we try to control every stage of the process.

But why is it so difficult to let go of control? Because you have to stay true, you have to stay awake. You can’t just go about your days, as an empty robot. You have to embrace every minute. To stay open to all possibilities. To be new in every moment.

Staying in control and perfection mode is actually to close yourself down. I have experienced, that you also close yourself to other people. You can’t receive anything from anybody, if you all the way stay in your control mode. Besides, life gets really boring.

I just want to say, I think it’s freaking scary too. I mean I’am not perfect about being not perfect……this control mode is a monster which is implanted deep down in our beings….so don’t be too hard on yourself and your artwork.

A good way is to begin to notice how it feels to be in control and perfect mode, and how it feels to be free of that mind set. Because then you can begin to work on shifting back to being alive.

Here are some questions to ask yourself when you are creating.

Is this really making me feel alive, does this makes me feel full of passion and joy??

Is everything planned?? Do I know the result??

Do I let myself stay open to all possibilities.

How does it make me feel, to not knowing the result??

How can I stay open to trust the whole process??

How can I feel safe in the middle of chaos?

How can I let go of control??

Is this really fun??

Why am I doing this??

Yes, that’s a good question. Why are you doing art??

I guess you can come up with a lot more questions, make some notes. Be more observant about how you are feeling during the day.

Hope you can use what I write. I write because its a way for me to stay in tune about the small issues that can disturb the process. I like to find out what is triggering me, so I can stay free, to be me.

Have a very nice day, stay alive.:-)

Hope you could use these tips.

I’am sharing this information to you freely, from my own experiences. Hope you can use it in your own process. Any donation, is deeply appreciated. :-)

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