Holding your flow.

A friend told me about a dream she had…….In the dream she saw me holding a diamond shape between my hands, really focusing on that act. The shape was glowing with a red light. There was a lot going on around me, but all my focus was on me holding that diamond shape. 

I was laughing, because it is exactly where I’am at. I see it as me holding my flow. Because it’s all I’am doing. The only thing that matters to me is holding that flow. It’s to substain that feeling of aliveness.

 How do yo substain the flow. ? Hold your flow.

If your only aim is to hold that flow, your energies will get higher and higher, more and more aligned with all that you are. You will begin to operate from within.  You will act from your inner knowledge and guidance. So hold your flow. Your flow is the feeling of being alive. It’s the feeling of being vibrantly alive. It’s the feeling of endless possibilities, and no fear.

What actions makes you feel alive? What do you really want? Ask yourself these questions. Because your flow is not mine flow……..What makes me feel alive, is proberly not the same for you. Find your own path. Without looking for outer validation. Without caring about what other people does, or thinks. Don’t do your actions to please others. Do what makes you feel alive. Go for that feeling. It’s not being fine or okay. It’s being ruthlessly honest about what you want, and what really matters for you.

 Then you will start glowing from within. Nothing can stop you, when you don’t operate from fear.

Marie J.Engelsvold. Process. Diamond shape. Hexagon. 2020

For me there is no choice. It’s about being alive or death. I choose to be alive.  For many years I was in between, half death half alive. In between. Just living, doing what I thought I had to do, trying to get by as an artist.  Buying into all the rules about being an artist. Giving my power away. Not really daring to stand up, to step out of the shadows.

I thought I would be happy if I had success as an artist, if I could sell my works. Being in the right galleries or museums. I didn’t really realize what success was for me….what made my heart beat stronger. What made me feel empowered and free. 

A lot of outer circumstances…shaked med alive. I was in a kind of roller coaster of events…..that forced me to reinvent everything in my life. I had a spiritual awakening

Now it’s all about  being alive. All about love. All about being me. I can’t just be satisfied with being okay, and getting by. Nothing can tempt me, if the feeling is not right. I have been there, long enough….and so have you….maybe?

My art praxis has totally changed. I’am not so interested in just get my works to be exhibited….I’am not so interested in the right places, the art places. Nothing wrong with galleries, and museums…but I just don’t get so excited about these places.

I’am not interested in struggling, and making it so hard. Struggling to get recognition. No, that energy is too hard, too forced, it doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t feel good.

The flow energy is strong, but very gentle and light. It’s easy going, and full of fun, play and adventures. It’s loving and free. You do what is easy, and fels right. You don’t plan everything, every little detail.  

Marie J.Engelsvold. Process. Diamond shape. Hexagon. Drawings. 2020

No, you let things be open…open so you can be fully present to play…..and go with the flow….you have to make room for the flow to expand. 

 I really get into my flow, when I’am building, playing and experimenting with a lot of different materials, just playing with all the possibilities. Creating and decreating. Lately  I have moved my art praxis out of my studio….taking my materials outdoor. I go to the forrest , or the city. Making art in public. It’s fun to do art in other places than in the studio or in exhibition places. It’s fun to play outside, speaking with bypasses. Feeling alive. Because it’s so new and fresh. You don’t know what will happen. How people will react. How you can create in the new surroundings. You are out of your comfort zone. It’s an adventure.

 It really makes me feel alive.  Sometimes other people or artists  are joining me. I like to play and build with others…..to see what happens…how can we interact?

 It’s fun to be spontanuous, to not have everything planned. It’s all about the energy, the feeling. You know when you get there, nothing else matters really.

Marie J.Engelsvold. Process. Building in public. Roskilde Cathedral. 2020.

So how do you hold that flow. That aliveness? To hold it, you have to let go of everything that is keeping you small and limited. 

You have to let go of fear and doubt. You have to let go of not being good enough. You have to let go of what you thought you can or cannot do. You can’t be in flow, or feeling alive if you have fear.

In my experience what happens in the flow, is that everything in you, not alligned with that conciousness will come up. I regulary go through purging. I don’t resist when emotions are getting triggered, I just accept them, or express them…through rage or crying. I know I just have to embrace the feelings so that I can go back in the flow. 

Marie J.Engelsvold. Process.Building in studio. 2019

Go even higher. But the purging of emotions is also part of being alive.

I mean you are truely not half dead in that state. You expand. In the acceptance of all your feeelings, in the acceptance of all of yourself. You are not afraid of any feeling or emotion. 

When you are in fear, when you go around half dead, thinking everything is okay…you resist feeling your emotions. You close yourself from feeling anything. You numb yourself. Then you are operating from the mindstate….where everything is about control.

You can’t be in flow operating from the mind state. That’s not possible.

If you numb yourself from feeling, how can you feel alive?  You can think how it feels to be alive. You can think how you think it feels to be alive. And you can act acording to what you think will make you feel alive. But it doesn’t make you feel alive. You can’t really feel, when you want to control what to feel. 

Marie J.Engelsvold. “Trophy of self love”. 100 x 70 cm. Acrylic paint on paper. 2019.

So coming back to holding the flow. It’s to feeling alive. It’s to connect with your feelings. What do you really want. Not what you think you want, or what other people wants…but what you want. Go within. What actions, what situations makes you feel alive. Really glowing. Really vibrating.

It’s to stop struggling, and instead go for fun. It’s where you feel light, and free.

It’s to love yourself, so much that you don’t do anything that makes you feel just okay. That makes you settle for less than what makes you glow. What you really deserve. Don’t settle for less. 

Hope you enjoyed this post. Have a very nice day. :-)

I’am sharing this information to you freely, from my own experiences. Hope you can use it in your own process. Any donation, is deeply appreciated. :-)

Donate

• Turtorials and tips
  • May 15, 2019 How to take your drawings, to the next level.
  • Apr 30, 2019 Be bold, let your light out.
  • Apr 6, 2019 How to start your drawing praxis.
  • Mar 8, 2019 What to do when you are stucked in the creative process??
  • Feb 13, 2018 How do you work with composition?
  • Jan 8, 2018 Make a kickstart.
  • Nov 20, 2017 Go bigger.
  • Nov 8, 2017 What is your drawings all about?
  • Oct 31, 2017 Wait!! Before you throw that drawing in the bin!!!!!
  • Oct 12, 2017 Find inspiration everywhere.
  • Oct 12, 2017 Experiment with shapes and lines.
  • Oct 12, 2017 Want to find your own visual language ?
• psycological aspects
  • May 26, 2020 Holding your flow.
  • May 6, 2020 The world is yours.
  • Apr 22, 2020 Let your heart decide.
  • Apr 18, 2020 Create from your self.
  • Apr 4, 2020 Expand your own signature.
  • Oct 9, 2019 How to shift out of the 3d perspective.
  • Sep 20, 2019 What is it, to be grounded?
  • Sep 10, 2019 How to follow your own flow.
  • Jul 28, 2019 Releasing your resistance to the moment.
  • Jul 15, 2019 Don't wait for life to be perfect, let go of control.
  • Jun 1, 2019 How to raise your vibration, through the creative process.
  • Apr 1, 2019 How embracing all parts of you, will help you in your art making.
  • Feb 20, 2019 Don’t resist the moment. Live your dream.
  • Feb 10, 2019 Why are we so hard on ourselves?
  • Feb 1, 2019 It's okay to say NO.
  • Jan 2, 2019 Let yourself shine in 2019 :-)
  • Nov 22, 2018 Look at your obstacles as adventures.
  • Feb 2, 2018 How to stay in the process?
  • Dec 20, 2017 Slow down
  • Dec 12, 2017 There is no "right" way.
  • Dec 5, 2017 Why it's important to unlearn.
  • Oct 12, 2017 Let your feelings be your guide.
  • Sep 5, 2017 Don't be afraid of change:-)
  • Sep 5, 2017 Express your feelings
  • Sep 5, 2017 Can drawing be a kind of meditation?
• turtorials
  • Apr 6, 2019 How to start your drawing praxis.
• video
  • May 15, 2019 How to take your drawings, to the next level.
  • Apr 30, 2019 Be bold, let your light out.
  • Apr 1, 2019 How embracing all parts of you, will help you in your art making.
  • Mar 8, 2019 What to do when you are stucked in the creative process??
  • Feb 20, 2019 Don’t resist the moment. Live your dream.
  • Feb 10, 2019 Why are we so hard on ourselves?
  • Feb 1, 2019 It's okay to say NO.

The world is yours.

Today I didn’t plan to make any podcast, or blog post. I didn’t plan anything, actually.

This day is mine. I can do what ever I want. I really like that. But I remember for some years ago, It made me uncomfortable, I didn't like not to have a plan. I always knew what to do. I made a to do list, the night before, or even the week before. So I knew exactly what I needed to do, to reach my goal. What I wanted.

But I don’t work like that anymore. I can’t do it, I have to go with my energies. Go with the flow. So I need to become aware of what is the right action. How can I use my energies in the best possible way? In a way that I feel really empowered. Instead of feeling that I have to do this..I have this on my “to do list”, so I have to go check, check, check.

I call it the hard way, the struggle way. If I do this, it drains me. I can’t do that anymore. I go for the easy way.

Today, I was sitting in the sun enjoying a coffee on my balcony. Enjoying the moment. But to be honest, I wasn’t quite enjoying it. I was a little worried , a little doubtful…it was very subtle…like a quiet nagging feeeling. I felt I had to go to the studio. I have an upcoming exhibition, but I haven’t really been diving into the process. It’s very open still. It’s have been very open for a long time. So I thought I had to go to my studio, the whole day, and really get it going. But I felt a little resistant, not so inspired.

Actually I felt fearful and doubtful because I have this open day, and I didn’t know what to do. Eventhough I’am quite used to go with my feelings, to tap into my body, and go with my energies and what I want….Today I was just not so grounded in that. But instead of going with my fears, and what I thought I had to do…I pulled my energies within.

I go within. Collect myself. Being present in my body. Because when you are in your fear mode, you are only centered in your mind. If you take action from that place, it will be full of fear. When you are in your mind, you are always in the future or in the past, trying to fix things from that perspective. But you can’t really fix anything which is rooted in this mind based fear. So I center myself. Pull my energies inside. Filling myself up, with my own energies. Sometimes if you give yourselve away to projects, ideas, other people, and situations. You will feel totally drained, because you are not rooted in your own reality. In your body.

Marie J.Engelsvold. “Alignment of energies” 70 x 100 cm. Naked heart. Swim Gallery. 2018. San Francisco. U.S.A. For purchase. Contact: Marie J.Engelsvold.

So I go within, just feeling my body. Sometimes it helps to go to my feets…when I go to my feets with my consciousness , with my thoughts….I go deep deep within. It’s grounding. I begin to relax, being still. My thoughts stops racing. In this relaxed state I start to pull my energies in.

But how do I do it? If there is a situation…for example I thought I had to go to the studio, but I didn’t felt like going. So I have given this situation a lot of energy, by thinking about it. I then take the energy back, by seeing the situation before my inner eye, taking my energies out….I always see my energy as a color. So I pull this energy out, by seeing this color leaving the situation, and taking it back within. I take it back. My energy.

It will feel very good, because it’s your energy, so it’s okay to take it back. When you are focusing on all these things outside of you, all these things you think you have to do, worrying about money, other people and their opinions, social media, projects.

Take your energy back from all this, and you will really feel how you recharge. You will feel so empowered by your own energies. When I do this little exercise, I feel really good. I’am coming back to myself. From that place I can take some action, that is rooted inside of me. From what I want, and not from worry or fear.

Marie J.Engelsvold. “My energy” 54 x 42 cm. Acrylics and paper cuts on paper. 2018. For purchase. Contact: Marie J.Engelsvold.

So I was sitting on my balcony, doing this little exercise, because I felt this doubt. Then I felt so much better, but I still didn’t know what to do today. I have a lot of options, cause I have always a lot of things going…

I went inside the apartment, and I noticed a magazine on a table. On it’s front cover it was saying “The world is yours”, with big bold letters. Wow, so strong. The world is yours, this sentence just got my energies in motion. Because it just reflected what I was at. So I grab a piece of paper, and started writing down some ideas. This sentence, and this episode/blog today I have named “The world is yours”

It’s so important, the world is not outside yourself. (It’s within. It’s my experience, you can disagree, of course.)

But I think the world is inside of you. Your world is inside of you. Everything you are experiencing in the outer world, is actually you.Your perception of the world. So, if the world is really yours…you don’t have to go out and do anything out there, that is not rooted inside of you. Because you create your outer wold inside of you. The world is yours inside of you.The world is inside of you. So start the action inside yourself, and you will see how everything will fall into place, with you taking the right action. You will feel really good.

You don’t have to worry, because you come from another place. You don’t come from fear, or doubt. You will not give all your energies away, to something outside of you. You are taking your energies back, so you can create your world from inside of you.

I noticed this sentence, and I got the spark, the energy the idea for this podcast/blog. It came from within.

Marie J.Engelsvold. From studio. 2018.

I have just started this podcast, I’am usually writing here on my blog. But one day I just wanted to do something else, to shake the energies out of repeating mode. I have made 5 episodes, so far, every time reading aloud from a manuscript. Actually I wanted to speak more freely, but it was a little hard for me to keep the track. But the original idea with the podcast, was to be more direct, to be more alive. But today coming from my grounded vibrant energy, I just wrote down some notes…and spoke without the usual manuscript.

It was so freeing.( If you are only reading, try to lisen’t for a change, it will make you perceive differently. )

So to come back to the sentence “The world is yours”. You have to go within. To be centered inside. Feeling your energies. Take your energies back from the outside world. Instead of separating you and the world, you become one with the world. You are the world. The world is not separated from you. it’s in you. You have total control, because the world is inside of you. It’s you. it’s the only thing you can control, it’s you. So when the world is inside you, it’s actually very easy to be in control.

Marie J.Engelsvold. "Release" 29,7 x 21 cm. Acrylic markers on paper. 2017. For purchase. Contact: Marie J.Engelsvold.

So don’t freak out, if you don’t know what to do, or what project to work on today. Try to go within, instead of following your “to do” list. We all have all these things, we think we have to do. If you have this feeling of obligation, I have to do this, I should do that, even though you don’t really feel like it. Just try this experiment. Instead of going with this energy of fear and doubt, go within. Feel your body, feel your feets. When relaxed, take back your energy from all the things you think you have to do. From all the people you think you have to please. Take it back, and fill yourself up.

Then you will feel energized. You will feel boosted, and centered. From this place you can ask yourself. “What do I want to do”? What do I really want to do today?” Not “What do I have to do today"? It’s your world. you decide. Allow yourself to go with that energy.

Hope you enjoyed this post. Have a very nice day. :-)

I’am sharing this information to you freely, from my own experiences. Hope you can use it in your own process. Any donation, is deeply appreciated. :-)

Donate

• Turtorials and tips
  • May 15, 2019 How to take your drawings, to the next level.
  • Apr 30, 2019 Be bold, let your light out.
  • Apr 6, 2019 How to start your drawing praxis.
  • Mar 8, 2019 What to do when you are stucked in the creative process??
  • Feb 13, 2018 How do you work with composition?
  • Jan 8, 2018 Make a kickstart.
  • Nov 20, 2017 Go bigger.
  • Nov 8, 2017 What is your drawings all about?
  • Oct 31, 2017 Wait!! Before you throw that drawing in the bin!!!!!
  • Oct 12, 2017 Find inspiration everywhere.
  • Oct 12, 2017 Experiment with shapes and lines.
  • Oct 12, 2017 Want to find your own visual language ?
• psycological aspects
  • May 26, 2020 Holding your flow.
  • May 6, 2020 The world is yours.
  • Apr 22, 2020 Let your heart decide.
  • Apr 18, 2020 Create from your self.
  • Apr 4, 2020 Expand your own signature.
  • Oct 9, 2019 How to shift out of the 3d perspective.
  • Sep 20, 2019 What is it, to be grounded?
  • Sep 10, 2019 How to follow your own flow.
  • Jul 28, 2019 Releasing your resistance to the moment.
  • Jul 15, 2019 Don't wait for life to be perfect, let go of control.
  • Jun 1, 2019 How to raise your vibration, through the creative process.
  • Apr 1, 2019 How embracing all parts of you, will help you in your art making.
  • Feb 20, 2019 Don’t resist the moment. Live your dream.
  • Feb 10, 2019 Why are we so hard on ourselves?
  • Feb 1, 2019 It's okay to say NO.
  • Jan 2, 2019 Let yourself shine in 2019 :-)
  • Nov 22, 2018 Look at your obstacles as adventures.
  • Feb 2, 2018 How to stay in the process?
  • Dec 20, 2017 Slow down
  • Dec 12, 2017 There is no "right" way.
  • Dec 5, 2017 Why it's important to unlearn.
  • Oct 12, 2017 Let your feelings be your guide.
  • Sep 5, 2017 Don't be afraid of change:-)
  • Sep 5, 2017 Express your feelings
  • Sep 5, 2017 Can drawing be a kind of meditation?
• turtorials
  • Apr 6, 2019 How to start your drawing praxis.
• video
  • May 15, 2019 How to take your drawings, to the next level.
  • Apr 30, 2019 Be bold, let your light out.
  • Apr 1, 2019 How embracing all parts of you, will help you in your art making.
  • Mar 8, 2019 What to do when you are stucked in the creative process??
  • Feb 20, 2019 Don’t resist the moment. Live your dream.
  • Feb 10, 2019 Why are we so hard on ourselves?
  • Feb 1, 2019 It's okay to say NO.