The world is yours.

Today I didn’t plan to make any podcast, or blog post. I didn’t plan anything, actually.

This day is mine. I can do what ever I want. I really like that. But I remember for some years ago, It made me uncomfortable, I didn't like not to have a plan. I always knew what to do. I made a to do list, the night before, or even the week before. So I knew exactly what I needed to do, to reach my goal. What I wanted.

But I don’t work like that anymore. I can’t do it, I have to go with my energies. Go with the flow. So I need to become aware of what is the right action. How can I use my energies in the best possible way? In a way that I feel really empowered. Instead of feeling that I have to do this..I have this on my “to do list”, so I have to go check, check, check.

I call it the hard way, the struggle way. If I do this, it drains me. I can’t do that anymore. I go for the easy way.

Today, I was sitting in the sun enjoying a coffee on my balcony. Enjoying the moment. But to be honest, I wasn’t quite enjoying it. I was a little worried , a little doubtful…it was very subtle…like a quiet nagging feeeling. I felt I had to go to the studio. I have an upcoming exhibition, but I haven’t really been diving into the process. It’s very open still. It’s have been very open for a long time. So I thought I had to go to my studio, the whole day, and really get it going. But I felt a little resistant, not so inspired.

Actually I felt fearful and doubtful because I have this open day, and I didn’t know what to do. Eventhough I’am quite used to go with my feelings, to tap into my body, and go with my energies and what I want….Today I was just not so grounded in that. But instead of going with my fears, and what I thought I had to do…I pulled my energies within.

I go within. Collect myself. Being present in my body. Because when you are in your fear mode, you are only centered in your mind. If you take action from that place, it will be full of fear. When you are in your mind, you are always in the future or in the past, trying to fix things from that perspective. But you can’t really fix anything which is rooted in this mind based fear. So I center myself. Pull my energies inside. Filling myself up, with my own energies. Sometimes if you give yourselve away to projects, ideas, other people, and situations. You will feel totally drained, because you are not rooted in your own reality. In your body.

Marie J.Engelsvold. “Alignment of energies” 70 x 100 cm. Naked heart. Swim Gallery. 2018. San Francisco. U.S.A. For purchase. Contact: Marie J.Engelsvold.

So I go within, just feeling my body. Sometimes it helps to go to my feets…when I go to my feets with my consciousness , with my thoughts….I go deep deep within. It’s grounding. I begin to relax, being still. My thoughts stops racing. In this relaxed state I start to pull my energies in.

But how do I do it? If there is a situation…for example I thought I had to go to the studio, but I didn’t felt like going. So I have given this situation a lot of energy, by thinking about it. I then take the energy back, by seeing the situation before my inner eye, taking my energies out….I always see my energy as a color. So I pull this energy out, by seeing this color leaving the situation, and taking it back within. I take it back. My energy.

It will feel very good, because it’s your energy, so it’s okay to take it back. When you are focusing on all these things outside of you, all these things you think you have to do, worrying about money, other people and their opinions, social media, projects.

Take your energy back from all this, and you will really feel how you recharge. You will feel so empowered by your own energies. When I do this little exercise, I feel really good. I’am coming back to myself. From that place I can take some action, that is rooted inside of me. From what I want, and not from worry or fear.

Marie J.Engelsvold. “My energy” 54 x 42 cm. Acrylics and paper cuts on paper. 2018. For purchase. Contact: Marie J.Engelsvold.

So I was sitting on my balcony, doing this little exercise, because I felt this doubt. Then I felt so much better, but I still didn’t know what to do today. I have a lot of options, cause I have always a lot of things going…

I went inside the apartment, and I noticed a magazine on a table. On it’s front cover it was saying “The world is yours”, with big bold letters. Wow, so strong. The world is yours, this sentence just got my energies in motion. Because it just reflected what I was at. So I grab a piece of paper, and started writing down some ideas. This sentence, and this episode/blog today I have named “The world is yours”

It’s so important, the world is not outside yourself. (It’s within. It’s my experience, you can disagree, of course.)

But I think the world is inside of you. Your world is inside of you. Everything you are experiencing in the outer world, is actually you.Your perception of the world. So, if the world is really yours…you don’t have to go out and do anything out there, that is not rooted inside of you. Because you create your outer wold inside of you. The world is yours inside of you.The world is inside of you. So start the action inside yourself, and you will see how everything will fall into place, with you taking the right action. You will feel really good.

You don’t have to worry, because you come from another place. You don’t come from fear, or doubt. You will not give all your energies away, to something outside of you. You are taking your energies back, so you can create your world from inside of you.

I noticed this sentence, and I got the spark, the energy the idea for this podcast/blog. It came from within.

Marie J.Engelsvold. From studio. 2018.

I have just started this podcast, I’am usually writing here on my blog. But one day I just wanted to do something else, to shake the energies out of repeating mode. I have made 5 episodes, so far, every time reading aloud from a manuscript. Actually I wanted to speak more freely, but it was a little hard for me to keep the track. But the original idea with the podcast, was to be more direct, to be more alive. But today coming from my grounded vibrant energy, I just wrote down some notes…and spoke without the usual manuscript.

It was so freeing.( If you are only reading, try to lisen’t for a change, it will make you perceive differently. )

So to come back to the sentence “The world is yours”. You have to go within. To be centered inside. Feeling your energies. Take your energies back from the outside world. Instead of separating you and the world, you become one with the world. You are the world. The world is not separated from you. it’s in you. You have total control, because the world is inside of you. It’s you. it’s the only thing you can control, it’s you. So when the world is inside you, it’s actually very easy to be in control.

Marie J.Engelsvold. "Release" 29,7 x 21 cm. Acrylic markers on paper. 2017. For purchase. Contact: Marie J.Engelsvold.

So don’t freak out, if you don’t know what to do, or what project to work on today. Try to go within, instead of following your “to do” list. We all have all these things, we think we have to do. If you have this feeling of obligation, I have to do this, I should do that, even though you don’t really feel like it. Just try this experiment. Instead of going with this energy of fear and doubt, go within. Feel your body, feel your feets. When relaxed, take back your energy from all the things you think you have to do. From all the people you think you have to please. Take it back, and fill yourself up.

Then you will feel energized. You will feel boosted, and centered. From this place you can ask yourself. “What do I want to do”? What do I really want to do today?” Not “What do I have to do today"? It’s your world. you decide. Allow yourself to go with that energy.

Hope you enjoyed this post. Have a very nice day. :-)

I’am sharing this information to you freely, from my own experiences. Hope you can use it in your own process. Any donation, is deeply appreciated. :-)

Donate

• Turtorials and tips
  • May 15, 2019 How to take your drawings, to the next level.
  • Apr 30, 2019 Be bold, let your light out.
  • Apr 6, 2019 How to start your drawing praxis.
  • Mar 8, 2019 What to do when you are stucked in the creative process??
  • Feb 13, 2018 How do you work with composition?
  • Jan 8, 2018 Make a kickstart.
  • Nov 20, 2017 Go bigger.
  • Nov 8, 2017 What is your drawings all about?
  • Oct 31, 2017 Wait!! Before you throw that drawing in the bin!!!!!
  • Oct 12, 2017 Find inspiration everywhere.
  • Oct 12, 2017 Experiment with shapes and lines.
  • Oct 12, 2017 Want to find your own visual language ?
• psycological aspects
  • May 26, 2020 Holding your flow.
  • May 6, 2020 The world is yours.
  • Apr 22, 2020 Let your heart decide.
  • Apr 18, 2020 Create from your self.
  • Apr 4, 2020 Expand your own signature.
  • Oct 9, 2019 How to shift out of the 3d perspective.
  • Sep 20, 2019 What is it, to be grounded?
  • Sep 10, 2019 How to follow your own flow.
  • Jul 28, 2019 Releasing your resistance to the moment.
  • Jul 15, 2019 Don't wait for life to be perfect, let go of control.
  • Jun 1, 2019 How to raise your vibration, through the creative process.
  • Apr 1, 2019 How embracing all parts of you, will help you in your art making.
  • Feb 20, 2019 Don’t resist the moment. Live your dream.
  • Feb 10, 2019 Why are we so hard on ourselves?
  • Feb 1, 2019 It's okay to say NO.
  • Jan 2, 2019 Let yourself shine in 2019 :-)
  • Nov 22, 2018 Look at your obstacles as adventures.
  • Feb 2, 2018 How to stay in the process?
  • Dec 20, 2017 Slow down
  • Dec 12, 2017 There is no "right" way.
  • Dec 5, 2017 Why it's important to unlearn.
  • Oct 12, 2017 Let your feelings be your guide.
  • Sep 5, 2017 Don't be afraid of change:-)
  • Sep 5, 2017 Express your feelings
  • Sep 5, 2017 Can drawing be a kind of meditation?
• turtorials
  • Apr 6, 2019 How to start your drawing praxis.
• video
  • May 15, 2019 How to take your drawings, to the next level.
  • Apr 30, 2019 Be bold, let your light out.
  • Apr 1, 2019 How embracing all parts of you, will help you in your art making.
  • Mar 8, 2019 What to do when you are stucked in the creative process??
  • Feb 20, 2019 Don’t resist the moment. Live your dream.
  • Feb 10, 2019 Why are we so hard on ourselves?
  • Feb 1, 2019 It's okay to say NO.

Create from your self. →

Get in touch with your core. (your self, your inner diamond, your being, your soul, your heart ……. find your own word, the word is not important. The feeling of being you is important.)

Do you want to lisen’t to the podcast? Go here.

Don’t give yourself away

When we talk about being creative, being artists, being creators. We talk about self expression. What is this self? How can you express yourself from that place

 Of course you already know that feeling of being you. We all do. Feeling happy, alive, free and excited. In this state or conciousness you don’t fear anything, and you feel you are enough. You feel everything is possible. Why do you feel everything is possible? Because when you are feeling whole, you are infinite. 

In this consciousness you can create everything. Everything you imagine or dream about is possible. We can say that we are God in this consciousness. 

Marie J.Engelsvold. “I catch me, if I fall” Yarn, wood, foam, textile.“Purple heart” Wood, foam, yarn 2018. Swim Gallery. San Francisco. 2018

I know it is kind of difficult to use the word God. Because there is so many assumptions on that word already. It’s so powerful. That is why I use this word, because I want to point to the fact that you are that power. You are not a victim. You are the creater. You don’t have to give your power away to any external God. To anything outside of you. It can be a lover, a parent, your friends, the art world, the government. Don’t give yourself away

 If you don’t like to use the word God. Then don’t. You can also use self, or core. Or find your own word. It could be Inner diamond. You decide. You have the power. 

But sometimes this core, and the awareness of it, is hidden. You can’t find your self. You can’t find that feeling of being whole and complete. But it’s not gone. It’s always there. You are just not in that that state of conciousness.. You can’t see it, it’s hidden because you are coming from your old believes. Your fears, and the feeling that you are constantly missing out on something. This nagging feeling that you constantly have to get a little better, learn some more, practice some more. You are not feeling you are enough. You are not feling good enough.

 You just have to make some more money. Or you wait for the right time. Because you are not quite ready yet. Or you compare yourself to other people, and listen more to their advice than your own.

Marie J.Engelsvold. Work process. 2019

When you are creating your artworks, trying to express yourself and you are not in that energy. You are not in contact with your wholeness, your joy and the knowing that you are enough. You will meet all your limitations. All your different believes, and assumptions. All your rules. What you have learned and decided is good or bad. What you can or cannot do. 

If you are open and aware of what is happening, you can letting that conciousness go. Everything that restricts you and makes you heavy. 

As you are letting go, you reconnect with yourself. You come more and more into contact with your pure creative power, that is wild and free. Full of excitement and love. Full of joy and play. Where everything feels possible. Because you are the creator. 

But how do you let go?  How do you go from being critizicing yourself, being hard on yourself?  To come into that place of wholeness and completeness.? To come into that notion that you can thrust yourself? You simply shift out of that state of conciousness. 

Because how can you be so hard on yourself, if you are actually whole and complete?

Marie J.Engelsvold. “Inner diamond” Pencil on paper. 2020. For purchase. Contact: Marie J.Engelsvold.

 Shifting your energies

I want to give you another picture. Because eventhough you are feeling low, you are feeling fearful, or limited you are still you. You don’t have to find your self. You just have to shift your energies. Or you state of mind. Your consciousness. Your awareness. Yes there are so many words for the same. We can also say, just change your mood. How do we go from being in a bad mood to a better mood.

 We can see ourselves as a radio with different frequencies. When you change frequency or channel, you change awareness. For example, you could be on the channel that says everything is tough. Life is hard. You have to fight for everything. Or you can switch to the channel that says everything is easy. Life is easy. And you have everything you need, everything comes easily to you. But it's still the same radio. You are still you, you are still full of love and joy even if you are on the channel that states that everything is hard. You just changed frequency. 

 But if it’s so easy to change moods.

Why are we often stuck? 

 Yes I know it’s not so simpel at first. Sometimes you just can’t seem to dig yourself out of this shitty state. You think everythink is going wrong, your art works are failing. You have always failed. You will never make anything that will ever be good enough. Your whole life is one big faillure. You are a faillure. 

 Yes. We know this state. How it can grow so quickly  inside you. Going from one failed art work, then accelerating into your whole life being a faillure. Yes I know that. You properly do too. You are not connected to your core. But it’s still there. You are still there. All these thoughts is not you. They are just a state of mind.

You can move to another state. Letting it build in the same way as any other state of mind.

Try to go back to that failed art work. Just accept it. Embrace it. Yes, it didn’t turn out the way you expected it. But it’s okay. You are okay. Then just feel you being okay. Breathe. Then you can go from being okay, to be fine. Relax in that feeling that you are fine. Accelerate the feeling, build on that….in the same way you did when you went from  having failed one art work, to your whole life being a faillure. Now take that feeling of being fine to the next level. Feeling complete. Feeling whole. Feeling enough.

Marie J.Engelsvold. Work process. 2019.

Now you can stay in this peaceful mood, or you can go even futher. You can go to the state of being joyful, excited, feeling alive. Now you are you. Now you are connected to your aliveness. To your beingness. Can you feel it?? 

 You decide. You can also choose to stay limited. To criticise yourself. Beat yourself up.

 Don’t pretend to be okay

 As I have talked about before, it’s not always possible to move out of a low mood so easy.

In my experience. When I feel this knot in my throut and stomach, I can’t just shift out like I just explained. I can try, but no. It doesn’t feel right.

In these cases, I just go deep into these feelings. I don’t just pretend to be okay. No, don’t do that. Because you can’t move them. They are coming up, for you to recognize them. For you to embrace them. For you to say it’s okay. Then the feelings will be released. But don’t be mad at yourself for having these feelings. Be gentle. Be kind. You need this love from yourself. You deserve it.

But in many cases, it’s just a habit to get stock in the low moods. You do it so easily, because it’s a mood you know. So practise this shifting. Practise how you can shift out of a low mood. Choosing another mood. Choosing to see everything in a new perspective.

Because when you move to another state, another mood, another way to see life. We see everything acording to that mood. Your artwork which was a faillure in your previous mood, might be a complete art work in your mood of completeness and love. Or it might give you a wonderful idea, to how you can make something new and radical

Energy is constantly moving, that is its nature. We are pure energy in our consciousness, so it should be very natural and easy for us to move our consciousness.? To move out of a bad mood.? Yes it is . And most of us actually do it all the time, too. But we just tend to stay in the moods we know. The moods that is most natural to you. What is your most frequent mood? That’s your home. So if you in a period of your life is in a depressed state, that mood is most naturel.  So you have to practise being in other moods, untill that mood becomes the most naturel.

So often we go against our own nature. We try to fix things. We try to force the energies. We are not so gentle with ourselves. We decide for an action, for a project. We make a to do list, and we stick to this list, eventhough we feel our energies are getting low. Eventhough we are not passionate about the project

Marie J.Engelsvold. Work process. 2019.

Do you want to be alive?

You may have decided on a project. You start and you are full of energy, but at some point you run out of fuel. There is something wrong. But instead of listening, you keep going. You probably know it. I do. I've done it a lot. Forced myself to do a project I didn't feel passionate about.

In this way we go against our own energy. That's when we force the energy in a certain direction, instead of letting it flow. Instead of going with your energy. Going with yourself.

 You are not in allignment with your feelings of joy and aliveness. The project doesn’t make you feel excited. Actually it is draining you, because it’s not coming from you. It’s coming from something else. You might do it because you think it’s easy to sell. Then you act out of fear. Or you do it because it will give you some status. Or maybe you do a project with some other artists, or people, and you feel that you have comitted yourself to participate. You feel shity if you let the others down. But in the end of the day, the price you are paying, is too much. Don’t let yourself down. Don’t give your power away.

 You decide. Do you want to be alive? Really feling alive? Move to that place in yourself.

See the world from that place. Everything is possible.

Try it. :-)

Hope you enjoyed this post. Have a very nice day.

I’am sharing this information to you freely, from my own experiences. Hope you can use it in your own process. Any donation, is deeply appreciated. :-)

Donate

• Turtorials and tips
  • May 15, 2019 How to take your drawings, to the next level. May 15, 2019
  • Apr 30, 2019 Be bold, let your light out. Apr 30, 2019
  • Apr 6, 2019 How to start your drawing praxis. Apr 6, 2019
  • Mar 8, 2019 What to do when you are stucked in the creative process?? Mar 8, 2019
  • Feb 13, 2018 How do you work with composition? Feb 13, 2018
  • Jan 8, 2018 Make a kickstart. Jan 8, 2018
  • Nov 20, 2017 Go bigger. Nov 20, 2017
  • Nov 8, 2017 What is your drawings all about? Nov 8, 2017
  • Oct 31, 2017 Wait!! Before you throw that drawing in the bin!!!!! Oct 31, 2017
  • Oct 12, 2017 Find inspiration everywhere. Oct 12, 2017
  • Oct 12, 2017 Experiment with shapes and lines. Oct 12, 2017
  • Oct 12, 2017 Want to find your own visual language ? Oct 12, 2017
• psycological aspects
  • May 26, 2020 Holding your flow. May 26, 2020
  • May 6, 2020 The world is yours. May 6, 2020
  • Apr 22, 2020 Let your heart decide. Apr 22, 2020
  • Apr 18, 2020 Create from your self. Apr 18, 2020
  • Apr 4, 2020 Expand your own signature. Apr 4, 2020
  • Oct 9, 2019 How to shift out of the 3d perspective. Oct 9, 2019
  • Sep 20, 2019 What is it, to be grounded? Sep 20, 2019
  • Sep 10, 2019 How to follow your own flow. Sep 10, 2019
  • Jul 28, 2019 Releasing your resistance to the moment. Jul 28, 2019
  • Jul 15, 2019 Don't wait for life to be perfect, let go of control. Jul 15, 2019
  • Jun 1, 2019 How to raise your vibration, through the creative process. Jun 1, 2019
  • Apr 1, 2019 How embracing all parts of you, will help you in your art making. Apr 1, 2019
  • Feb 20, 2019 Don’t resist the moment. Live your dream. Feb 20, 2019
  • Feb 10, 2019 Why are we so hard on ourselves? Feb 10, 2019
  • Feb 1, 2019 It's okay to say NO. Feb 1, 2019
  • Jan 2, 2019 Let yourself shine in 2019 :-) Jan 2, 2019
  • Nov 22, 2018 Look at your obstacles as adventures. Nov 22, 2018
  • Feb 2, 2018 How to stay in the process? Feb 2, 2018
  • Dec 20, 2017 Slow down Dec 20, 2017
  • Dec 12, 2017 There is no "right" way. Dec 12, 2017
  • Dec 5, 2017 Why it's important to unlearn. Dec 5, 2017
  • Oct 12, 2017 Let your feelings be your guide. Oct 12, 2017
  • Sep 5, 2017 Don't be afraid of change:-) Sep 5, 2017
  • Sep 5, 2017 Express your feelings Sep 5, 2017
  • Sep 5, 2017 Can drawing be a kind of meditation? Sep 5, 2017
• turtorials
  • Apr 6, 2019 How to start your drawing praxis. Apr 6, 2019
• video
  • May 15, 2019 How to take your drawings, to the next level. May 15, 2019
  • Apr 30, 2019 Be bold, let your light out. Apr 30, 2019
  • Apr 1, 2019 How embracing all parts of you, will help you in your art making. Apr 1, 2019
  • Mar 8, 2019 What to do when you are stucked in the creative process?? Mar 8, 2019
  • Feb 20, 2019 Don’t resist the moment. Live your dream. Feb 20, 2019
  • Feb 10, 2019 Why are we so hard on ourselves? Feb 10, 2019
  • Feb 1, 2019 It's okay to say NO. Feb 1, 2019

Expand your own signature.

I like to use the word signature instead of style. Signature is more about expressing your inner self. Your signature comes from the inside out through your hand. You create it yourself. It’s not something you are taking on. It’s what you create from inside of you. It’s you who are the creator. No one else, but you. Expand yourself, instead of limiting yourself.

Embrace all parts of yourself. Accept yourself in your full complexity, both the light and dark parts. We are all unique creatures, no one is exactly like you. You are a very special combination, that has never been seen before. Your way of seeing the world. Your upbringing and your experiences are unique to you.

Because of that, we all have our very own way of expressing ourselves, and what we want to express is our own. Of course, we also have a lot of things that are common to all of us, and one of them is the joy of creating. 

Creativity stems from our desire to create, and Creativity is not just about art. We can be creative in all fields of our lives. But here we talk about self-expression through creativity. Then you can use the same methods to other fields of life because when you learn to be free in the creative process, you learn at the same time to free yourself. And then anything is possible………… 

I talk about self-expression. And it is literally to express one's "self" 

Maybe you have heard that it is important to find one's style as an "artist", so you stand out from the crowd and get recognized. You create your own brand. The only problem is that you can't find a style in the outside world and then put it on or use it as a piece of clothing or furniture.

Get in touch with all parts of yourself. 

But in order for you to really create your visual language, you need to get in touch with all parts of yourself. Or at least as many as possible. After all, you have a very unique combination of qualities, and they should preferably be used in some way in your creations.  The more abilities you can express, the more rich and complex your finished work becomes. It will certainly also be more unique. 

 Sometimes we find an expression we like and we cultivate that expression until it’s automatic.

Maybe we have made a brand out of drawing plants with  a blue ball. We receive praises and recognition for our recognizable "style". All is well, untill you get so bored of making the same things. Especially if you do not dare to change direction, because you are stuck in the brand. It may be fine for a period of time to try a particular technique, but don't limit yourself and make a lot of rules. Remember, being creative is about breaking rules, about being free. Instead, spend some time experimenting with a lot of tools and materials you like.

Marie J.Engelsvold. “Fan of the human creative mind” Acrylics on paper. 52 x 84 cm. 2016. For purchase. Contact: Marie J.Engelsvold.

Be curious about yourself. Try expanding instead of limiting yourself. There are no rules about what you must and what you must not. Only you set the rules. 

 Often we can be very critical of certain traits in our expression. What do you dislike about that expression? Try to accept, instead of deny. Notice what kind of feeling is attached to that expression? Maybe it's a feeling you don't like in yourself. But everything you create is part of yourself, you can't cut anything out.

 Embrace all of your different qualities, and accept them. Then you will see how things expands and flows. If you use only a few parts of yourself in your creations, you will eventually become dissatisfied and feel blocked. You will skip from expression to expression, and constantly believe that now you have found it, until you feel this block again. You build a lot of  resistance, instead of going with the flow in yourself.

 I think it's about integration. Integrating your differences. Constantly making more space inside yourself. At first, it may feel like a lot of resistance, when a unconciouss part of yourself wants to be recognized. That's perfectly normal. We are all afraid of the unknown.

Do you feel resistance?

You can feel tnis resistance about new things. But doesn’t it make you excited?

Because when you act from an enthusiastic place, you come into contact with your core. The place where you are whole and free. It doesn't have to be a big act. It can be a small act. It doesn't matter what you do. What truly matters is that the action arises from that enthusiasm.  When I succeed, it gives me endless joy.  So why not do it all the time? Well, very often, it may feel like there is some resistance. You may feel like you're trying to postpone it, even if you're eager to do it. You say to yourself, "I want to do this, but it's a little late now. I'll wait until tomorrow" Or you say "Oh, I don't have time now, Oh, it's a bit silly."

Marie J.Engelsvold. In the forrest. 2019.

I can give you an example. For a long time, I had this urge to go out into the woods with my sculptures and take some photos. I had been wanting to do it for some time before I actually did. Why was it so difficult? I really wanted to do it, but I had this resistance.

 Every day there was a new excuse. The weather was too bad or the weather was too hot. The grass was too wet or I felt some pain in my leg. One day I very quickly put all the sculpture pieces into my car. I planned to stop at a forest, on my way home from the studio. But I couldn't decide where to stop. For some days the car was filled with sculptures. 

 I was going out of town to visit one of my artist friends. I planned to stop at a forest on my way home. I told her about my plans. She wanted to help me. "You can't do this alone"? "You need someone to take the pictures", "Have you thought about how to fix the sculptures"? "Do you have any cord?" She came up with a lot of advice that made me feel a little drained. I said, "If I have to think about all these factors and have it all planned out, it won't be fun. 

 I knew in my heart that I just had to act, to overcome the resistance. Waiting until everything was planned would have been another excuse for postpoding.

 It is a trigger from the ego. It wants control at all costs and it wants everything planned. 

 I stopped by the perfect  forest, on the way home. I played around for a few hours. I ignored people sitting in their cars in the parking lot of the forest.

The way they watched me as I pulled all my sculpture pieces out of the car. Or I thought they were watching me. Is it any wonder that so many people sit in their cars in the parking lot of a forest? Why don't they go out into the woods for a while? enjoying nature? 

 Maybe they felt the same resistance as me?

 You can't run from yourself .

This resistance is nothing more than fear, fear of showing a particular part of yourself. Fear that no one will recognize your "style" anymore. But you can't run from yourself.

You can change style as many times as you want, but you cannot change the fact that you did it. I have changed my expression many times and each time I think no one can see that it is my work. But very often, people can recognize your signature. And you think you've made a huge change because you're now using an acrylic marker instead of a paint brush. 

Marie J.Engelsvold. Work process. In the studio. 2019.

You can allow yourself to use all the technics, materials and medias you want. Why limit yourself? When we limit ourselves, when we feel we have to stick to some rules it’s because we are afraid. When we are free, there are no need for limitations. There are no need for rules.

For most of us, it's hard to change, and when we change something, we think everyone will see it. But just do it, it's not dangerous, and it's still you who did it.  Remember, we are always a duality. You cannot cut out your shadow, your so-called dark parts. And actually, there are no dark parts or shadow. It is only because we deny their excistance. That we don’t draw them forth in our consciousness.

If you accept all your parts, including those you dislike, if you learn to love them, talk to them, and understand them, then they will not be so dark anymore. They will be transformable. The energy you used to deny them, can be used to create new things and experiences in your life. Parts of ourselves that we disown, not only drain our energies they also tend to manifest as outside problems. We meet them in other people and situations.

How we can embrace our unrecognized parts, and come alive?

Marie J.Engelsvold. “Sliding on the staircase to heaven.” Acrylics, pencil and paper cut on paper. 72 x 50 cm. Swim Gallery. San Francisco. 2018.

For purchase. Contact: Marie J.Engelsvold.

You go to your head, when your heart hurts.

To be free in the creative process and in life, it is important to be present. And to be present, you need to connect with your heart and body. But why is it so difficult? and so much easier to be mental with it. I woke up one night and was very unhappy. These words came to me "You go to your head, when your heart hurts".

 We want to be happy and positive and then it is easier to suppress all the negative emotions. It is easier to be mental, and understand and categorize. But the feelings do not disappear when you try to ignore them, they stay and they keep growing.

 So to be present with yourself is about being present with everything inside you. Also the hurted parts. What to do?? 

 If you feel unwell, upset, angry, ashamed. Yes you feel those feelings you would rather not feel. Instead of pushing them away, feel them. Tap into your body and be present with those feelings. Recognize the emotions, say it's okay that you have those feelings. Give them space.

 Sometimes it can also happen that you just fall into total hopelessness and despair, even being completely knocked out. Maybe because you do not accept and feel your feelings, and give yourself the support you need?  We may be sad and angry, but if at the same time we feel that it is wrong to have these feelings, they will not disappear.

Marie J.Engelsvold. “Dark greeness” 30 x 21 cm. Photo mounted on dibond alu plate. 2019.

 It’s really about feeling all your emotions, comforting yourself as you would do for a child.  Once you have tried it just once, and been able to be present with your emotions and thus integrate them, you do not have to sit so long each time.

Because what happens when you say tha your felings is not okay, you are actually destroying your own guiding system. When I was a child I was not allowed to be sad or angry, it was not okay. I had to very quickly be happy again. But the feelings didn’t dissappear, and as a child you will feel that there is something wrong with you for having those feelings. You learn that you can’t trust your feelings. You learn that your feelings is wrong. I think many people have learned the same. We have learned that our feelings is wrong. So if you feel some resistance when you actually try to feel your emotions, that’s why.

 I think that is the reason we are so scared of those feelings, because we have never really learned how to understand them. Never learned how to recognize them, and integrate them.

Once you have integrated a feeling, you can immediately feel that you have much more energy available ..  Just because you have allowed yourself to feel, Letting yourself be yourself. Accepted yourself. It is a very small act, but it is not easy. Instinctively, we tend to escape from everything that hurts.

All it really takes is to sit still for a moment with yourself. And it takes some practice, be patient with yourself. You are okay. You are okay, no matter what feeling you are feeling. You are okay no matter if you can’t feel any. You are okay in letting go of everything that is not you.

Marie J.Engelsvold. “Trying to stay present” 27,9 x 42 cm. Paper cuts, pencil and acrylic marker on paper. 2015.

For purchase. Contact: Marie J.Engelsvold.

You cannot follow a must, a mental plan or an idea.

Don't do it because you think you should. You have to do it because you feel like doing it. Sometimes you cannot feel what you want because you are so used to doing what you think you should.

When do you ask yourself what you really want from your heart? If there were no other boundaries? Let your heart fly. Don't plan, let it grow. Just do something, just a little thing you feel like. Then you will feel the energy, you will be happier and it will grow in you. And it will grow out of you. 

 The more I dare to be in that space with my art, the more free I become. Release the rules. Release the restrictions. It's all mental, it's not you. Every time you can transform your "negative" feelings, you become more fearless. You will not be so afraid of the dark feelings in you. You energies expands from all the things that you have accepted in yourself, and all the things that you have letting go of. The false notions and limitations.

 So do not be afraid to feel your heart, to feel all that you often avoid. Grief, anger and abandonment. You have to feel it, to free yourself. To be free to express yourself in all your true colors.

Marie J.Engelsvold. Sculpture making in the local park. 2020

Hope you enjoyed this post. Have a very nice day.

I’am sharing this information to you freely, from my own experiences. Hope you can use it in your own process. Any donation, is deeply appreciated. :-)

Donate

• Turtorials and tips
  • May 15, 2019 How to take your drawings, to the next level. May 15, 2019
  • Apr 30, 2019 Be bold, let your light out. Apr 30, 2019
  • Apr 6, 2019 How to start your drawing praxis. Apr 6, 2019
  • Mar 8, 2019 What to do when you are stucked in the creative process?? Mar 8, 2019
  • Feb 13, 2018 How do you work with composition? Feb 13, 2018
  • Jan 8, 2018 Make a kickstart. Jan 8, 2018
  • Nov 20, 2017 Go bigger. Nov 20, 2017
  • Nov 8, 2017 What is your drawings all about? Nov 8, 2017
  • Oct 31, 2017 Wait!! Before you throw that drawing in the bin!!!!! Oct 31, 2017
  • Oct 12, 2017 Find inspiration everywhere. Oct 12, 2017
  • Oct 12, 2017 Experiment with shapes and lines. Oct 12, 2017
  • Oct 12, 2017 Want to find your own visual language ? Oct 12, 2017
• psycological aspects
  • May 26, 2020 Holding your flow. May 26, 2020
  • May 6, 2020 The world is yours. May 6, 2020
  • Apr 22, 2020 Let your heart decide. Apr 22, 2020
  • Apr 18, 2020 Create from your self. Apr 18, 2020
  • Apr 4, 2020 Expand your own signature. Apr 4, 2020
  • Oct 9, 2019 How to shift out of the 3d perspective. Oct 9, 2019
  • Sep 20, 2019 What is it, to be grounded? Sep 20, 2019
  • Sep 10, 2019 How to follow your own flow. Sep 10, 2019
  • Jul 28, 2019 Releasing your resistance to the moment. Jul 28, 2019
  • Jul 15, 2019 Don't wait for life to be perfect, let go of control. Jul 15, 2019
  • Jun 1, 2019 How to raise your vibration, through the creative process. Jun 1, 2019
  • Apr 1, 2019 How embracing all parts of you, will help you in your art making. Apr 1, 2019
  • Feb 20, 2019 Don’t resist the moment. Live your dream. Feb 20, 2019
  • Feb 10, 2019 Why are we so hard on ourselves? Feb 10, 2019
  • Feb 1, 2019 It's okay to say NO. Feb 1, 2019
  • Jan 2, 2019 Let yourself shine in 2019 :-) Jan 2, 2019
  • Nov 22, 2018 Look at your obstacles as adventures. Nov 22, 2018
  • Feb 2, 2018 How to stay in the process? Feb 2, 2018
  • Dec 20, 2017 Slow down Dec 20, 2017
  • Dec 12, 2017 There is no "right" way. Dec 12, 2017
  • Dec 5, 2017 Why it's important to unlearn. Dec 5, 2017
  • Oct 12, 2017 Let your feelings be your guide. Oct 12, 2017
  • Sep 5, 2017 Don't be afraid of change:-) Sep 5, 2017
  • Sep 5, 2017 Express your feelings Sep 5, 2017
  • Sep 5, 2017 Can drawing be a kind of meditation? Sep 5, 2017
• turtorials
  • Apr 6, 2019 How to start your drawing praxis. Apr 6, 2019
• video
  • May 15, 2019 How to take your drawings, to the next level. May 15, 2019
  • Apr 30, 2019 Be bold, let your light out. Apr 30, 2019
  • Apr 1, 2019 How embracing all parts of you, will help you in your art making. Apr 1, 2019
  • Mar 8, 2019 What to do when you are stucked in the creative process?? Mar 8, 2019
  • Feb 20, 2019 Don’t resist the moment. Live your dream. Feb 20, 2019
  • Feb 10, 2019 Why are we so hard on ourselves? Feb 10, 2019
  • Feb 1, 2019 It's okay to say NO. Feb 1, 2019