How to follow your own flow.

I have been wondering lately, about energy. Is it bad to change directions, to change your mind, to reset, to go in circles, to be in between, to start all over, to shift the focus.?

I have always learned that you have to stay persistent, you have to focus, you have to be determinded to reach your goals. I also learned, that it was bad to change your mind, to change direction too often, to start all over. Because then you are weak.

That’s what I have been told in childhood. Especially from my father…uhh it was very importent to have a strong will, to be a strong character. So I think I tried to be like this. I always had to know which way I was going, I had to have a plan. I had to show other people that I was so sure of what I was doing….but in the reality I was not. It was a fake. It was a front.

I did it so well, that I actually believed it myself. That I wanted to be persistent, goal orientated. Actually I was so afraid to loose the grip, that I had a very hard time changing my mind. I was so single minded. I worked really hard.

Marie J.Engelsvold. Sculpture experiment. 2019

I think I knew deep inside, that I was not this person, that I was more easy going and playfull. But I was afraid of the chaos, to get drawn in the big ocean of possibilities.

I think many of us, have learned this. We avoid the chaos of not going a straight way. Not having everything figured out. We always try to get things fixed. But everything is energy, and you just can’t fix it. Energy is moving all the time, aren’t we supposed to move as well? To go with the energy, to go where it feels easy and light. But how can we get anything done, if we don’t do what we have planned?

I have experienced, that you will get so much more done, if you go with the energy, go with the flow. It can look chaotic in the moment, and for some time, but I actually think you can expand in ways, that is impossible if you stay fixed. Or settle into some defintion of what you want, and then just take blinkers on. You can actually be stucked for years, in this way. Instead follow your feelings and nudgets, even though you don’t know where that road will lead you. If you just do things because you have set your mind on it, and feel the duty to stay with your intention, you will experience getting very heavy. It will be boring, and it will drain you instead of lifting you up.

Why use your time in that way? Why not lisen’t to that heaviness, and ask yourself what you will feel like doing instead? Maybe you just need a break, maybe a walk in the park would make you more inspired. Maybe it’s the place you are sitting in, maybe you need to shift location. Or you need to talk with somebody, or even sleep. You might be tired. Maybe the whole project is wrong. Maybe your relationship is wrong. Maybe you want to do something entirely different. Only you knows, nobody else, only you.

Marie J.Engelsvold. Sculpture experiment. 2019.

How easy can it be? Why struggle, and make it hard? If you follow that light energy, that place where you feel uplifted, then go in that direction. If you feel heavy and dragged down by something or someone, leave it. Go in another direction, and most importantly nurture the feeling of excitement and playfullness. Nurture the activities that make you happy. Don’t think about what will be the outcome, just absorb yourselves in the activities. Nurture that happy feeling. You will attract more happiness into your life, the more you allow yourself to go where the energy flows. Why go against your own energy?

It all comes down to your willingness to lisen’t to your heart. To lisen’t to your own truth, your own voice. Because it’s you that have to follow your flow, don’t follow other peoples definition of flow, or your own definition. When you try to make a definition, it’s your mental control that tries to make things more settled. It want to settle. That’s what we are actually up against, our need for settlement. And why do we need settlement? because we feel fear.

Sometimes we ignore this heavy feeling, when we go against our own flow, our own life force. Because we get frightened of going with the stream. You have to flow. But most of us don’t like to flow, to let go of our perceptions. We get so frightened of this force, because it’s actually a force. So we fight it. But the force of our deepest desires, of our heart can’t be ignored for good. At some point it will drag you down this river. But that’s only if you have totally ignored your own inner guidance, your inner voice. Because if you are used to settle in that heaviness, you can’t feel the energies, you can’t feel your heart. You have closed your heart down, and you have to be forced out of your comfort zone.

To follow your flow you have to stay open to all possibilities, and that can be hard work to start with, because we are used to settle the energy all the time. Very often we lie to ourselves, we say “oh, I’am so happy with what I’am doing here”, even though we are not. Or we say, “of course there is a lot of boring stuff, but that’s life. Isen’t it”? Honestly?

When something is boring it’s actually a sign that we are not in the flow, we are resistent to being in the flow.

I more and more come to this conclusion that it’s something to do with the heart. The heart is not interested in settling into something, and then stick to that, even though you are bored to death. The heart is not interested in hard work. The heart is not serious. The heart are not interested in being clever and skillful. The heart is only interested in love. To love and be happy. The feeling of being light or heavy is coming from the heart. It’s a kind of heart language. It’s not interested in having status in society. It’s not interested in putting things in boxes, and labeling things. It’s only interested in how it feels. And wow, isen’t it so……you can do all the right choices seen from the outside, but if it doesn’t feel right, then it doesn’t matter. So to really lisen’t to your feelings, it’s the key to come into your flow.

Not other peoples definition of happiness and success, but your own.

So maybe that’s why we have a difficult time, being in flow? because very often the heart want something entirely different from our ego. From our mind. It will not accept that you are lying to yourself, it doesn’t accept pride, or status or being afraid of what other people might think.

So if you are a person, who never really has been fitting into a category, if you have been drifting, flowting, doing things just because it made you feel good. It might be you have an open heart.

But it’s not easy, because other people, the society might not like your way of living. Why? Because it goes against the norm. It makes other people uncomfortable.

We have learned to shut down our hearts, to not lisen’t to our feelings. We live in a society that loves hard working skill full people who are bored to death. Fear is the weapon.

That’s why we think it’s bad to change direction, to be open to all possibilities, to lisen’t to your own feelings and following your own guidance. To live the life as you want it, to be happy and feel alive. To burst with energy, excitement and love. Can you tame such people? No. You can’t frighten free people.

You can only be in flow, if you lisen't to your own feelings, and takes action on what you feel is right. Yes, it might change, like the wind, like the waves. But it’s only on the surface, underneath in the depth is your own heart who knows, that’s your captain. The ripples on the surface is the captains messages. The messages from the heart, for you to follow. You have to follow your feelings, without seeing the whole picture. You just take one step of the time, following your feelings of joy, excitement and happiness and trust that the direction will be shown to you bit by bit.

You might think it has nothing to do with creativity or being an artist. But if you are not free, you can’t really create.

That’s my experience.

Hope you are getting real out there, in life as in art. Hope you will act on your urges, everything is about how you feel. Don’t compromise on that.

Have a lovely day :-))

I’am sharing this information to you freely, from my own experiences. Hope you can use it in your own process. Any donation, is deeply appreciated. :-)

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• Turtorials and tips
  • May 15, 2019 How to take your drawings, to the next level. May 15, 2019
  • Apr 30, 2019 Be bold, let your light out. Apr 30, 2019
  • Apr 6, 2019 How to start your drawing praxis. Apr 6, 2019
  • Mar 8, 2019 What to do when you are stucked in the creative process?? Mar 8, 2019
  • Feb 13, 2018 How do you work with composition? Feb 13, 2018
  • Jan 8, 2018 Make a kickstart. Jan 8, 2018
  • Nov 20, 2017 Go bigger. Nov 20, 2017
  • Nov 8, 2017 What is your drawings all about? Nov 8, 2017
  • Oct 31, 2017 Wait!! Before you throw that drawing in the bin!!!!! Oct 31, 2017
  • Oct 12, 2017 Find inspiration everywhere. Oct 12, 2017
  • Oct 12, 2017 Experiment with shapes and lines. Oct 12, 2017
  • Oct 12, 2017 Want to find your own visual language ? Oct 12, 2017
• psycological aspects
  • May 26, 2020 Holding your flow. May 26, 2020
  • May 6, 2020 The world is yours. May 6, 2020
  • Apr 22, 2020 Let your heart decide. Apr 22, 2020
  • Apr 18, 2020 Create from your self. Apr 18, 2020
  • Apr 4, 2020 Expand your own signature. Apr 4, 2020
  • Oct 9, 2019 How to shift out of the 3d perspective. Oct 9, 2019
  • Sep 20, 2019 What is it, to be grounded? Sep 20, 2019
  • Sep 10, 2019 How to follow your own flow. Sep 10, 2019
  • Jul 28, 2019 Releasing your resistance to the moment. Jul 28, 2019
  • Jul 15, 2019 Don't wait for life to be perfect, let go of control. Jul 15, 2019
  • Jun 1, 2019 How to raise your vibration, through the creative process. Jun 1, 2019
  • Apr 1, 2019 How embracing all parts of you, will help you in your art making. Apr 1, 2019
  • Feb 20, 2019 Don’t resist the moment. Live your dream. Feb 20, 2019
  • Feb 10, 2019 Why are we so hard on ourselves? Feb 10, 2019
  • Feb 1, 2019 It's okay to say NO. Feb 1, 2019
  • Jan 2, 2019 Let yourself shine in 2019 :-) Jan 2, 2019
  • Nov 22, 2018 Look at your obstacles as adventures. Nov 22, 2018
  • Feb 2, 2018 How to stay in the process? Feb 2, 2018
  • Dec 20, 2017 Slow down Dec 20, 2017
  • Dec 12, 2017 There is no "right" way. Dec 12, 2017
  • Dec 5, 2017 Why it's important to unlearn. Dec 5, 2017
  • Oct 12, 2017 Let your feelings be your guide. Oct 12, 2017
  • Sep 5, 2017 Don't be afraid of change:-) Sep 5, 2017
  • Sep 5, 2017 Express your feelings Sep 5, 2017
  • Sep 5, 2017 Can drawing be a kind of meditation? Sep 5, 2017
• turtorials
  • Apr 6, 2019 How to start your drawing praxis. Apr 6, 2019
• video
  • May 15, 2019 How to take your drawings, to the next level. May 15, 2019
  • Apr 30, 2019 Be bold, let your light out. Apr 30, 2019
  • Apr 1, 2019 How embracing all parts of you, will help you in your art making. Apr 1, 2019
  • Mar 8, 2019 What to do when you are stucked in the creative process?? Mar 8, 2019
  • Feb 20, 2019 Don’t resist the moment. Live your dream. Feb 20, 2019
  • Feb 10, 2019 Why are we so hard on ourselves? Feb 10, 2019
  • Feb 1, 2019 It's okay to say NO. Feb 1, 2019

How embracing all parts of you, will help you in your art making.

1) How to connect with your feelings, and feel them instead of being mental about it.

2) How it will help you to stay present in the creative process.

Take a look at my video, where you can follow my own process while you lisen’t to my experiences. Or you can just read the blog post instead.

There is another layer to the topic I talked about in my last video. “What to do if you get stocked in the creative process.”

When we begin to criticize and judge ourselves, it’s because we are too much in our heads. We don’t now how to be present with ourselves. Because it can be hurtful to embrace all our feelings.

To be free in the creative process and in life, it’s so important to be present. And to be present you must connect with your heart and body. But why is it so difficult?? and so much easier to go to the head and be mental about it. I woke up last night, and was feeling really pain. And these words came to me “ You go to your head when your heart hurts”. We want to be happy and positive, and then it’s easier to suppress all the negative emotions. But the feelings don’t go away when you try to ignore them, they stay and they build up.

So to be present with yourself, it’s about being present with everything inside of you. Also the stuff thats hurts.

What to do??

My process. here I start with painting the paper black. I always start with a white paper, but felt like doing the opposite would balance the energies.

You have to go down in the deepht of yourselves, to say hallo to that part of you which is in the dark bottom of that hole. To accept it, and get it back up. Don’t begin to analyze it, or judge if the feeling is going to be there or not, if it’s good or bad. Just feel whatever is inside of you. In the beginning it can be a little frightening, to go down there, if you are not used to confront it. And you sometimes need to stay for a while, to acknowledge these dark feelings. To be there in the darkness for your lost friend. To give comfort, and acceptance to that feeling.

When I was a child, I sometimes felt it was not okay to be sad, to be angry to be grieving. My mother said, you just put yourself togheter now, and up on that horse again. You know you will soon forget all this. But then you just put that lid on, and that feeling will not be allowed it’s space.

Sometimes it can also happen that you are too long in that dark hole with your friend. That you just fall into total hopelessness and despair, even getting totally knocked out. Maybe you don’t accept and really getting yourself the comfort you need? We can be sad and angry, but if we at the same time feel that it’s wrong to have these feelings, they won’t go away. It’s really about owning these feelings, and comfort yourself as you would to a child.

When you have tried it just once, and being abel to stay with your feelings, and drag it up in the light with you, you don’t have to stay so long each time. Imagine there is a trampoline down there, and you just can jump up and down, in a balanced movement between the light and the dark. Because we are both. We can’t just be happy and light all the time.

I think thats why we are so afraid to get down there, because we never really learned how to get up. To get up renewed and full of new energy and wholeness. Just because you allowed yourself to feel, to let yourself be you. To accept all of yourself. It’s a very small act, but it’s not easy. Instinctively we tend to escape from all that hurts. All it really takes is to sit quiet for a moment with yourself.

Marie J.Engelsvold. My process: Working with Molotow acrylic markers and paper cuts.

2) How it will help you to stay present in the creative process.

To be abel to stay present with all these feelings, it helps to release them through your creations. It helps to put them out on that paper, or any other medium you prefer. I just use the drawing as an example of an easy way to create without having to think too much about space and time and other practical things. The most important thing is to get started, to release the energy because it will help you to drag yourself out of that hole. And when you start it will develop in it’s own pace. You will by following your own guidance end up doing what will be the most beneficial way to express your uniqueness.

You can’t follow a must, a mental plan or an idea.

Marie J.Engelsvold. My process: Working with Molotow acrylic markers and paper cuts.

You can’t do it because you think you have to, you have to do it because you want to do it. But sometimes you can’t feel what you want, because you are so used to do what you have to do. Or what you think you have to do. When do you really ask yourself what you truly want from your heart?? If there was no limits?? Let your heart fly. Don’t plan it, do it and let it grow. Do just something a little thing you want to do. Then you will feel the energy, you will fell happier and it will grow in you. And it will grow out of you.

The more I dare to be in that space with my art, the more free I become. Drop the rules. Drop the limitations. It is all mental, it’s not you.

Every time you can drag yourself out of that hole, you will get more fearless. You will not be so afraid of the darkness in you, because you trust yourself to come up again every time. And not just up again being the same. No, you bring up new energy, from all the things you have accepted in yourself, and all the things you have let go of. The false notions, and limitations you have put onto yourself.

So don’t be afraid of going to your heart to feel all the hurt, the sorrow the anger and the abandonment. You have to do it, to set yourself free. To be free to express yourself, in all your true colors.

Marie J.Engelsvold. “Coming out” 29,7 x 42 cm. 2019

Here is a little tip.

Take a paper, and some drawing materials, paint what ever you want.

Then just start. Don’t have any agenda. Not thinking of a result. Just

try to empty yourself out on that paper.

Fell whatever is coming up. Allow whatever is coming out.

Don’t judge if it’s good or bad, ugly or beautiful.

Just let it be raw and what it is.

Create from a non judgment place, a no critic place.

Go with your nudges.

Hope this helped you. I wish you a very nice day, a day where you allow yourself to be present with all your feelings, and say it’s okay.

I’am teaching in “how you can free yourself in the creative process”, go to workshops, to read about my courses and workshops. Next ones is in Mai 2019.

I’am sharing this information to you freely, from my own experiences. Hope you can use it in your own process. Any donation, is deeply appreciated. :-))

Donate

• Turtorials and tips
  • May 15, 2019 How to take your drawings, to the next level.
  • Apr 30, 2019 Be bold, let your light out.
  • Apr 6, 2019 How to start your drawing praxis.
  • Mar 8, 2019 What to do when you are stucked in the creative process??
  • Feb 13, 2018 How do you work with composition?
  • Jan 8, 2018 Make a kickstart.
  • Nov 20, 2017 Go bigger.
  • Nov 8, 2017 What is your drawings all about?
  • Oct 31, 2017 Wait!! Before you throw that drawing in the bin!!!!!
  • Oct 12, 2017 Find inspiration everywhere.
  • Oct 12, 2017 Experiment with shapes and lines.
  • Oct 12, 2017 Want to find your own visual language ?
• psycological aspects
  • May 26, 2020 Holding your flow.
  • May 6, 2020 The world is yours.
  • Apr 22, 2020 Let your heart decide.
  • Apr 18, 2020 Create from your self.
  • Apr 4, 2020 Expand your own signature.
  • Oct 9, 2019 How to shift out of the 3d perspective.
  • Sep 20, 2019 What is it, to be grounded?
  • Sep 10, 2019 How to follow your own flow.
  • Jul 28, 2019 Releasing your resistance to the moment.
  • Jul 15, 2019 Don't wait for life to be perfect, let go of control.
  • Jun 1, 2019 How to raise your vibration, through the creative process.
  • Apr 1, 2019 How embracing all parts of you, will help you in your art making.
  • Feb 20, 2019 Don’t resist the moment. Live your dream.
  • Feb 10, 2019 Why are we so hard on ourselves?
  • Feb 1, 2019 It's okay to say NO.
  • Jan 2, 2019 Let yourself shine in 2019 :-)
  • Nov 22, 2018 Look at your obstacles as adventures.
  • Feb 2, 2018 How to stay in the process?
  • Dec 20, 2017 Slow down
  • Dec 12, 2017 There is no "right" way.
  • Dec 5, 2017 Why it's important to unlearn.
  • Oct 12, 2017 Let your feelings be your guide.
  • Sep 5, 2017 Don't be afraid of change:-)
  • Sep 5, 2017 Express your feelings
  • Sep 5, 2017 Can drawing be a kind of meditation?
• turtorials
  • Apr 6, 2019 How to start your drawing praxis.
• video
  • May 15, 2019 How to take your drawings, to the next level.
  • Apr 30, 2019 Be bold, let your light out.
  • Apr 1, 2019 How embracing all parts of you, will help you in your art making.
  • Mar 8, 2019 What to do when you are stucked in the creative process??
  • Feb 20, 2019 Don’t resist the moment. Live your dream.
  • Feb 10, 2019 Why are we so hard on ourselves?
  • Feb 1, 2019 It's okay to say NO.