Create from your self. →

Get in touch with your core. (your self, your inner diamond, your being, your soul, your heart ……. find your own word, the word is not important. The feeling of being you is important.)

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Don’t give yourself away

When we talk about being creative, being artists, being creators. We talk about self expression. What is this self? How can you express yourself from that place

 Of course you already know that feeling of being you. We all do. Feeling happy, alive, free and excited. In this state or conciousness you don’t fear anything, and you feel you are enough. You feel everything is possible. Why do you feel everything is possible? Because when you are feeling whole, you are infinite. 

In this consciousness you can create everything. Everything you imagine or dream about is possible. We can say that we are God in this consciousness. 

Marie J.Engelsvold. “I catch me, if I fall” Yarn, wood, foam, textile.“Purple heart” Wood, foam, yarn 2018. Swim Gallery. San Francisco. 2018

I know it is kind of difficult to use the word God. Because there is so many assumptions on that word already. It’s so powerful. That is why I use this word, because I want to point to the fact that you are that power. You are not a victim. You are the creater. You don’t have to give your power away to any external God. To anything outside of you. It can be a lover, a parent, your friends, the art world, the government. Don’t give yourself away

 If you don’t like to use the word God. Then don’t. You can also use self, or core. Or find your own word. It could be Inner diamond. You decide. You have the power. 

But sometimes this core, and the awareness of it, is hidden. You can’t find your self. You can’t find that feeling of being whole and complete. But it’s not gone. It’s always there. You are just not in that that state of conciousness.. You can’t see it, it’s hidden because you are coming from your old believes. Your fears, and the feeling that you are constantly missing out on something. This nagging feeling that you constantly have to get a little better, learn some more, practice some more. You are not feeling you are enough. You are not feling good enough.

 You just have to make some more money. Or you wait for the right time. Because you are not quite ready yet. Or you compare yourself to other people, and listen more to their advice than your own.

Marie J.Engelsvold. Work process. 2019

When you are creating your artworks, trying to express yourself and you are not in that energy. You are not in contact with your wholeness, your joy and the knowing that you are enough. You will meet all your limitations. All your different believes, and assumptions. All your rules. What you have learned and decided is good or bad. What you can or cannot do. 

If you are open and aware of what is happening, you can letting that conciousness go. Everything that restricts you and makes you heavy. 

As you are letting go, you reconnect with yourself. You come more and more into contact with your pure creative power, that is wild and free. Full of excitement and love. Full of joy and play. Where everything feels possible. Because you are the creator. 

But how do you let go?  How do you go from being critizicing yourself, being hard on yourself?  To come into that place of wholeness and completeness.? To come into that notion that you can thrust yourself? You simply shift out of that state of conciousness. 

Because how can you be so hard on yourself, if you are actually whole and complete?

Marie J.Engelsvold. “Inner diamond” Pencil on paper. 2020. For purchase. Contact: Marie J.Engelsvold.

 Shifting your energies

I want to give you another picture. Because eventhough you are feeling low, you are feeling fearful, or limited you are still you. You don’t have to find your self. You just have to shift your energies. Or you state of mind. Your consciousness. Your awareness. Yes there are so many words for the same. We can also say, just change your mood. How do we go from being in a bad mood to a better mood.

 We can see ourselves as a radio with different frequencies. When you change frequency or channel, you change awareness. For example, you could be on the channel that says everything is tough. Life is hard. You have to fight for everything. Or you can switch to the channel that says everything is easy. Life is easy. And you have everything you need, everything comes easily to you. But it's still the same radio. You are still you, you are still full of love and joy even if you are on the channel that states that everything is hard. You just changed frequency. 

 But if it’s so easy to change moods.

Why are we often stuck? 

 Yes I know it’s not so simpel at first. Sometimes you just can’t seem to dig yourself out of this shitty state. You think everythink is going wrong, your art works are failing. You have always failed. You will never make anything that will ever be good enough. Your whole life is one big faillure. You are a faillure. 

 Yes. We know this state. How it can grow so quickly  inside you. Going from one failed art work, then accelerating into your whole life being a faillure. Yes I know that. You properly do too. You are not connected to your core. But it’s still there. You are still there. All these thoughts is not you. They are just a state of mind.

You can move to another state. Letting it build in the same way as any other state of mind.

Try to go back to that failed art work. Just accept it. Embrace it. Yes, it didn’t turn out the way you expected it. But it’s okay. You are okay. Then just feel you being okay. Breathe. Then you can go from being okay, to be fine. Relax in that feeling that you are fine. Accelerate the feeling, build on that….in the same way you did when you went from  having failed one art work, to your whole life being a faillure. Now take that feeling of being fine to the next level. Feeling complete. Feeling whole. Feeling enough.

Marie J.Engelsvold. Work process. 2019.

Now you can stay in this peaceful mood, or you can go even futher. You can go to the state of being joyful, excited, feeling alive. Now you are you. Now you are connected to your aliveness. To your beingness. Can you feel it?? 

 You decide. You can also choose to stay limited. To criticise yourself. Beat yourself up.

 Don’t pretend to be okay

 As I have talked about before, it’s not always possible to move out of a low mood so easy.

In my experience. When I feel this knot in my throut and stomach, I can’t just shift out like I just explained. I can try, but no. It doesn’t feel right.

In these cases, I just go deep into these feelings. I don’t just pretend to be okay. No, don’t do that. Because you can’t move them. They are coming up, for you to recognize them. For you to embrace them. For you to say it’s okay. Then the feelings will be released. But don’t be mad at yourself for having these feelings. Be gentle. Be kind. You need this love from yourself. You deserve it.

But in many cases, it’s just a habit to get stock in the low moods. You do it so easily, because it’s a mood you know. So practise this shifting. Practise how you can shift out of a low mood. Choosing another mood. Choosing to see everything in a new perspective.

Because when you move to another state, another mood, another way to see life. We see everything acording to that mood. Your artwork which was a faillure in your previous mood, might be a complete art work in your mood of completeness and love. Or it might give you a wonderful idea, to how you can make something new and radical

Energy is constantly moving, that is its nature. We are pure energy in our consciousness, so it should be very natural and easy for us to move our consciousness.? To move out of a bad mood.? Yes it is . And most of us actually do it all the time, too. But we just tend to stay in the moods we know. The moods that is most natural to you. What is your most frequent mood? That’s your home. So if you in a period of your life is in a depressed state, that mood is most naturel.  So you have to practise being in other moods, untill that mood becomes the most naturel.

So often we go against our own nature. We try to fix things. We try to force the energies. We are not so gentle with ourselves. We decide for an action, for a project. We make a to do list, and we stick to this list, eventhough we feel our energies are getting low. Eventhough we are not passionate about the project

Marie J.Engelsvold. Work process. 2019.

Do you want to be alive?

You may have decided on a project. You start and you are full of energy, but at some point you run out of fuel. There is something wrong. But instead of listening, you keep going. You probably know it. I do. I've done it a lot. Forced myself to do a project I didn't feel passionate about.

In this way we go against our own energy. That's when we force the energy in a certain direction, instead of letting it flow. Instead of going with your energy. Going with yourself.

 You are not in allignment with your feelings of joy and aliveness. The project doesn’t make you feel excited. Actually it is draining you, because it’s not coming from you. It’s coming from something else. You might do it because you think it’s easy to sell. Then you act out of fear. Or you do it because it will give you some status. Or maybe you do a project with some other artists, or people, and you feel that you have comitted yourself to participate. You feel shity if you let the others down. But in the end of the day, the price you are paying, is too much. Don’t let yourself down. Don’t give your power away.

 You decide. Do you want to be alive? Really feling alive? Move to that place in yourself.

See the world from that place. Everything is possible.

Try it. :-)

Hope you enjoyed this post. Have a very nice day.

I’am sharing this information to you freely, from my own experiences. Hope you can use it in your own process. Any donation, is deeply appreciated. :-)

Donate

• Turtorials and tips
  • May 15, 2019 How to take your drawings, to the next level. May 15, 2019
  • Apr 30, 2019 Be bold, let your light out. Apr 30, 2019
  • Apr 6, 2019 How to start your drawing praxis. Apr 6, 2019
  • Mar 8, 2019 What to do when you are stucked in the creative process?? Mar 8, 2019
  • Feb 13, 2018 How do you work with composition? Feb 13, 2018
  • Jan 8, 2018 Make a kickstart. Jan 8, 2018
  • Nov 20, 2017 Go bigger. Nov 20, 2017
  • Nov 8, 2017 What is your drawings all about? Nov 8, 2017
  • Oct 31, 2017 Wait!! Before you throw that drawing in the bin!!!!! Oct 31, 2017
  • Oct 12, 2017 Find inspiration everywhere. Oct 12, 2017
  • Oct 12, 2017 Experiment with shapes and lines. Oct 12, 2017
  • Oct 12, 2017 Want to find your own visual language ? Oct 12, 2017
• psycological aspects
  • May 26, 2020 Holding your flow. May 26, 2020
  • May 6, 2020 The world is yours. May 6, 2020
  • Apr 22, 2020 Let your heart decide. Apr 22, 2020
  • Apr 18, 2020 Create from your self. Apr 18, 2020
  • Apr 4, 2020 Expand your own signature. Apr 4, 2020
  • Oct 9, 2019 How to shift out of the 3d perspective. Oct 9, 2019
  • Sep 20, 2019 What is it, to be grounded? Sep 20, 2019
  • Sep 10, 2019 How to follow your own flow. Sep 10, 2019
  • Jul 28, 2019 Releasing your resistance to the moment. Jul 28, 2019
  • Jul 15, 2019 Don't wait for life to be perfect, let go of control. Jul 15, 2019
  • Jun 1, 2019 How to raise your vibration, through the creative process. Jun 1, 2019
  • Apr 1, 2019 How embracing all parts of you, will help you in your art making. Apr 1, 2019
  • Feb 20, 2019 Don’t resist the moment. Live your dream. Feb 20, 2019
  • Feb 10, 2019 Why are we so hard on ourselves? Feb 10, 2019
  • Feb 1, 2019 It's okay to say NO. Feb 1, 2019
  • Jan 2, 2019 Let yourself shine in 2019 :-) Jan 2, 2019
  • Nov 22, 2018 Look at your obstacles as adventures. Nov 22, 2018
  • Feb 2, 2018 How to stay in the process? Feb 2, 2018
  • Dec 20, 2017 Slow down Dec 20, 2017
  • Dec 12, 2017 There is no "right" way. Dec 12, 2017
  • Dec 5, 2017 Why it's important to unlearn. Dec 5, 2017
  • Oct 12, 2017 Let your feelings be your guide. Oct 12, 2017
  • Sep 5, 2017 Don't be afraid of change:-) Sep 5, 2017
  • Sep 5, 2017 Express your feelings Sep 5, 2017
  • Sep 5, 2017 Can drawing be a kind of meditation? Sep 5, 2017
• turtorials
  • Apr 6, 2019 How to start your drawing praxis. Apr 6, 2019
• video
  • May 15, 2019 How to take your drawings, to the next level. May 15, 2019
  • Apr 30, 2019 Be bold, let your light out. Apr 30, 2019
  • Apr 1, 2019 How embracing all parts of you, will help you in your art making. Apr 1, 2019
  • Mar 8, 2019 What to do when you are stucked in the creative process?? Mar 8, 2019
  • Feb 20, 2019 Don’t resist the moment. Live your dream. Feb 20, 2019
  • Feb 10, 2019 Why are we so hard on ourselves? Feb 10, 2019
  • Feb 1, 2019 It's okay to say NO. Feb 1, 2019

How embracing all parts of you, will help you in your art making.

1) How to connect with your feelings, and feel them instead of being mental about it.

2) How it will help you to stay present in the creative process.

Take a look at my video, where you can follow my own process while you lisen’t to my experiences. Or you can just read the blog post instead.

There is another layer to the topic I talked about in my last video. “What to do if you get stocked in the creative process.”

When we begin to criticize and judge ourselves, it’s because we are too much in our heads. We don’t now how to be present with ourselves. Because it can be hurtful to embrace all our feelings.

To be free in the creative process and in life, it’s so important to be present. And to be present you must connect with your heart and body. But why is it so difficult?? and so much easier to go to the head and be mental about it. I woke up last night, and was feeling really pain. And these words came to me “ You go to your head when your heart hurts”. We want to be happy and positive, and then it’s easier to suppress all the negative emotions. But the feelings don’t go away when you try to ignore them, they stay and they build up.

So to be present with yourself, it’s about being present with everything inside of you. Also the stuff thats hurts.

What to do??

My process. here I start with painting the paper black. I always start with a white paper, but felt like doing the opposite would balance the energies.

You have to go down in the deepht of yourselves, to say hallo to that part of you which is in the dark bottom of that hole. To accept it, and get it back up. Don’t begin to analyze it, or judge if the feeling is going to be there or not, if it’s good or bad. Just feel whatever is inside of you. In the beginning it can be a little frightening, to go down there, if you are not used to confront it. And you sometimes need to stay for a while, to acknowledge these dark feelings. To be there in the darkness for your lost friend. To give comfort, and acceptance to that feeling.

When I was a child, I sometimes felt it was not okay to be sad, to be angry to be grieving. My mother said, you just put yourself togheter now, and up on that horse again. You know you will soon forget all this. But then you just put that lid on, and that feeling will not be allowed it’s space.

Sometimes it can also happen that you are too long in that dark hole with your friend. That you just fall into total hopelessness and despair, even getting totally knocked out. Maybe you don’t accept and really getting yourself the comfort you need? We can be sad and angry, but if we at the same time feel that it’s wrong to have these feelings, they won’t go away. It’s really about owning these feelings, and comfort yourself as you would to a child.

When you have tried it just once, and being abel to stay with your feelings, and drag it up in the light with you, you don’t have to stay so long each time. Imagine there is a trampoline down there, and you just can jump up and down, in a balanced movement between the light and the dark. Because we are both. We can’t just be happy and light all the time.

I think thats why we are so afraid to get down there, because we never really learned how to get up. To get up renewed and full of new energy and wholeness. Just because you allowed yourself to feel, to let yourself be you. To accept all of yourself. It’s a very small act, but it’s not easy. Instinctively we tend to escape from all that hurts. All it really takes is to sit quiet for a moment with yourself.

Marie J.Engelsvold. My process: Working with Molotow acrylic markers and paper cuts.

2) How it will help you to stay present in the creative process.

To be abel to stay present with all these feelings, it helps to release them through your creations. It helps to put them out on that paper, or any other medium you prefer. I just use the drawing as an example of an easy way to create without having to think too much about space and time and other practical things. The most important thing is to get started, to release the energy because it will help you to drag yourself out of that hole. And when you start it will develop in it’s own pace. You will by following your own guidance end up doing what will be the most beneficial way to express your uniqueness.

You can’t follow a must, a mental plan or an idea.

Marie J.Engelsvold. My process: Working with Molotow acrylic markers and paper cuts.

You can’t do it because you think you have to, you have to do it because you want to do it. But sometimes you can’t feel what you want, because you are so used to do what you have to do. Or what you think you have to do. When do you really ask yourself what you truly want from your heart?? If there was no limits?? Let your heart fly. Don’t plan it, do it and let it grow. Do just something a little thing you want to do. Then you will feel the energy, you will fell happier and it will grow in you. And it will grow out of you.

The more I dare to be in that space with my art, the more free I become. Drop the rules. Drop the limitations. It is all mental, it’s not you.

Every time you can drag yourself out of that hole, you will get more fearless. You will not be so afraid of the darkness in you, because you trust yourself to come up again every time. And not just up again being the same. No, you bring up new energy, from all the things you have accepted in yourself, and all the things you have let go of. The false notions, and limitations you have put onto yourself.

So don’t be afraid of going to your heart to feel all the hurt, the sorrow the anger and the abandonment. You have to do it, to set yourself free. To be free to express yourself, in all your true colors.

Marie J.Engelsvold. “Coming out” 29,7 x 42 cm. 2019

Here is a little tip.

Take a paper, and some drawing materials, paint what ever you want.

Then just start. Don’t have any agenda. Not thinking of a result. Just

try to empty yourself out on that paper.

Fell whatever is coming up. Allow whatever is coming out.

Don’t judge if it’s good or bad, ugly or beautiful.

Just let it be raw and what it is.

Create from a non judgment place, a no critic place.

Go with your nudges.

Hope this helped you. I wish you a very nice day, a day where you allow yourself to be present with all your feelings, and say it’s okay.

I’am teaching in “how you can free yourself in the creative process”, go to workshops, to read about my courses and workshops. Next ones is in Mai 2019.

I’am sharing this information to you freely, from my own experiences. Hope you can use it in your own process. Any donation, is deeply appreciated. :-))

Donate

• Turtorials and tips
  • May 15, 2019 How to take your drawings, to the next level.
  • Apr 30, 2019 Be bold, let your light out.
  • Apr 6, 2019 How to start your drawing praxis.
  • Mar 8, 2019 What to do when you are stucked in the creative process??
  • Feb 13, 2018 How do you work with composition?
  • Jan 8, 2018 Make a kickstart.
  • Nov 20, 2017 Go bigger.
  • Nov 8, 2017 What is your drawings all about?
  • Oct 31, 2017 Wait!! Before you throw that drawing in the bin!!!!!
  • Oct 12, 2017 Find inspiration everywhere.
  • Oct 12, 2017 Experiment with shapes and lines.
  • Oct 12, 2017 Want to find your own visual language ?
• psycological aspects
  • May 26, 2020 Holding your flow.
  • May 6, 2020 The world is yours.
  • Apr 22, 2020 Let your heart decide.
  • Apr 18, 2020 Create from your self.
  • Apr 4, 2020 Expand your own signature.
  • Oct 9, 2019 How to shift out of the 3d perspective.
  • Sep 20, 2019 What is it, to be grounded?
  • Sep 10, 2019 How to follow your own flow.
  • Jul 28, 2019 Releasing your resistance to the moment.
  • Jul 15, 2019 Don't wait for life to be perfect, let go of control.
  • Jun 1, 2019 How to raise your vibration, through the creative process.
  • Apr 1, 2019 How embracing all parts of you, will help you in your art making.
  • Feb 20, 2019 Don’t resist the moment. Live your dream.
  • Feb 10, 2019 Why are we so hard on ourselves?
  • Feb 1, 2019 It's okay to say NO.
  • Jan 2, 2019 Let yourself shine in 2019 :-)
  • Nov 22, 2018 Look at your obstacles as adventures.
  • Feb 2, 2018 How to stay in the process?
  • Dec 20, 2017 Slow down
  • Dec 12, 2017 There is no "right" way.
  • Dec 5, 2017 Why it's important to unlearn.
  • Oct 12, 2017 Let your feelings be your guide.
  • Sep 5, 2017 Don't be afraid of change:-)
  • Sep 5, 2017 Express your feelings
  • Sep 5, 2017 Can drawing be a kind of meditation?
• turtorials
  • Apr 6, 2019 How to start your drawing praxis.
• video
  • May 15, 2019 How to take your drawings, to the next level.
  • Apr 30, 2019 Be bold, let your light out.
  • Apr 1, 2019 How embracing all parts of you, will help you in your art making.
  • Mar 8, 2019 What to do when you are stucked in the creative process??
  • Feb 20, 2019 Don’t resist the moment. Live your dream.
  • Feb 10, 2019 Why are we so hard on ourselves?
  • Feb 1, 2019 It's okay to say NO.